m u n t a h m u n t a h

fat hips :P

2009-09-17T21:28:00.007+08:00

I'm into the 80's fashion scene, (now what?? 80's fashion and 60's man?? :))) As I strolled down to TopShop and Dorothy Perkin, I was so captivated with the fashions promoted, I bought few skinny jeans/legging (I'm far away from skinny) and went home and parade it, well I'm into my fat hips! never I bothered about them before, its always my bosom, busty, chest breassy me! now I'm madly in love with my fat meaty hips, wow! I'm amazed, self obsesses its not only fat, but I guess its firm in its own way, and I found 1 good reason to flaunt it (no more wide leg jeans, I'm a wide leg jeans devotee!not for this season, maybe :D)

Proudly to acknowledge everyone I'm self obsessed with my fat hips, hooray!!!~~~

Alicia Keys is my driving force to be in love with my super size hips! And other's are the on going thing for me, Kate Hudson, owh, speechless!

inspirations!

the story starts here......

tersenyumku bila warna ceria tiba

2009-09-15T01:54:00.004+08:00

kusyukuri cenderamata maha esa -oneitchything

I'm thinking of going out with younger man, I mean boys, yeah... I bet TopShops provides array of the character of my in thing! Boys!

What I've been looking for :

tall + lanky
in board short and simple t/long sleeve with/cargo pants/shorts
hair : simple do, messy hairdo
wears sandals
(almost 40mins I failed to figure out what's next?)
yeah yeah I've tried at least!

inspiration: Adib (niece) 14, and Ihsan 16, one happy couple, pst: strength, love and passion, cinta budakbudak membawaku pergi jauh, good luck Witni and Bobi, I envy U

hiasan lambang cinta yang terlarang

2009-09-09T13:34:00.004+08:00

You told me to meet you at the old KTM station, I'm all plugged with Rick Astley on my playlist. I saw you in your snickers and laid back casuals daily do, what is it? its still working hrs, aren't you supposed to be busy as usual?

Last few days:

me: feeling for for chapathi la today, want chapati want chapati
him: sorry dear I can't I'm berbuka puasa out
me: owh ok suddenly, outside?
him: It's better off if you don't ask why.
him: I wish there's some delivery service, so I can ask them to deliver to you

Our yesterday's cut off, I cant help myself when Im with you, I start to pull you off, we are standing overlooking the Corinthian big brick wall, the scenic the silence, the moment vow my hunger towards you. I wished to rip more than your clothes more than your skin, bare you off, no love no happy ending, only streaming endless lust and passionate kisses,

I'm all bruised when you tongued me, we left each other with no words no nothing but bruised that tattooed each other in varies way . I've promised I will never look back and say goodbye because I'm hungry for more

(Day 3)

2009-09-08T06:04:00.003+08:00

"I'm feeling guilty and you well aware, but you don't look ashamed
and baby I'm not scared"

I've stupidly threw my sim card, so I'm not able to call you and you wouldn't able to reach me, I left you with the best memoir we've shared within days... You're the cancer in me

small dots

2009-09-07T14:27:00.003+08:00

me: tqs for the flower/fruits/teddy bear/biscuits and milkkkkkkkkkkk
him: I sayang U, I just want you to be happy
me: yeah yeah yeah
me: U malu tak?

i gemuk
pakai baju color coding salah
mata selalu merah
comot
would u want to hold my hand
i pakai tudung, senget2, annoyingly

me: would u want to kiss/do smooches with me?
him: why not?
me: kiss me in the public? hold my hand?
him: didn't have any reason why I shouldn't
-------------------------------------------------------------

me: I dont want to go on /pursue in our friendship anymore, tq bye!
him: is it? oh ok! Take care, have a nice day!
me: you u stop saying u sayang I?
him: oh cause I thought u'r leaving
me: will i be forgotten?
him: no
me: did I hurt u?
him: honestly, yes
me: I know
me: when I'm in the "mood" can I call? and do meet up and kiss u?
him: yeah sure
me: hey I like you!
him: I like you
me: can I meet you within this week
him: sure!
****************************

he is the man who gives flowers/food/teddy bear/handwritten notes
listen to jazz
wear snickers on weekdays
everything that came out from his mouth makes me laugh/happy
he runs to the hospital just to hand in his hand written note to me
naughty
pious
old
make me wanting more of him
bad boy
does terawih!!!
tak gemuk tak kurus, sedang2,taller than me..grrrrr

honestly im craving for him
at the end of the day he is the one who is the-tak-boleh-pakai-man
irresistible
im crazy over him
i said stupid things around him
i guess i have to let him go
good thing, but bad to keep
biar gurauan seluruh cintamu ku dakap dalam tidur panjang ku
everyday im thinking of kissing him
he drugged me in so many ways
nak peluk plssssss
I'm praying daily to ask god to take him off from me
cant take this anymore

mahu itu

2009-08-31T13:05:00.000+08:00

suka bila dia tak ada dan saya tak perlu fikirkan pasal dia
nak duduk di celah kelangkang kecil dia
nak dengar dia panggil orang lain sayang tapi hati dia pada saya

but?

2009-07-19T00:08:00.003+08:00

everyone/everybody: U are wasting time, too much, focus

U need to meet your therapist
we miss the "old" you
how come 1 boy get 3 sections spread in your blog
1 man 1 column 1 boy 1/2 column, enough la~
detox please
massage your brain please
enough of cheap love scene
black nail polish please instead of au natural
go and see your Dr.A he is hungry for U
read my lips "S T O P W A S T I N G T I M E S"
stop avoiding man
those "phone's key chain" is so YESTERYEAR ok!

Me: i'll try *smile* + *cough*

I'm in between "this and that"

rescue me

2009-07-05T21:52:00.004+08:00

*I should start doing my Hygiene assignment, should be compiling articles about infection caused by Fresh Meat, should be ~*

mother: our sanak saudara about 15 of them will be dropping by to visit yr nenek *she suffered from bone brittles and out and about from SMC*

me: ok -gosh must be asking about marriage,families,career,driving license and job-

24 hrs, sleepless night, long hour on the phone, hogging here and there = fallen asleep 4 hrs, woken up half dead for my mobile phone ::
me: hello deary, rescue me now now now, haven't done any showering, brushing still fresh from last night sweats

deary: ok! Im around yr house, ready for Transformers??

me: what ewerrrrr...

Pack my wide leg jeans, cardigan, singlet and other la la la, off to deary house...

as usual, 30 minutes before the climax of Transfo. I slept and wakes up 30 min before the ending! :) Covered in popcorn and among the less-hottest Yam Meh bOys and some Lelaki Melayu, I'm fine, my sleepless night is being replenish under the bone chilling coldness of Bkt Tgi's theater!...
After lunch at Boston, with my bloating tummy, off we goes for minor shopping, clothes too tight for me, accessories? too much making me bigger than everyone! YES YES YES,cosmetics, beauty products.. let see something from Skin Food ke Food Therapy ke can't remember but the product owh superb beb!

I'm having food on my skin, instead in my tummy, ah ha so healthy yeah, (wedding and engagement invitation stresses me up, giving chemical reaction to my skin and my hair, I'm so pre Britney Spears)

dirrrtyyy and yummy slurpsss...
-in a coffee cups kind of thingy, mix the cocoa powder and the honey leavening agent and slather on my face wallaa, got me licked up!-

all left to do is run!

2009-06-30T18:57:00.003+08:00

ive missed several therapy session, today I made my comeback, need another mental and physical test, it turn out sucks!...

Therapist: what happen to your result..
Me: indiscipline!
Therapist: lack of recovery time, too stress out, bad diet, irregular therapy session
Me: ya ya ya too many "W" invitation that sicken me out *saying under my breathe*
Therapist: pls sleep early tonight pls pls pls, make it at 9 or b4 11
Me: ROFL, get a life MR!

Walking to Subang Parade + crying, not bothering some hot uncle, felt bad ugly and worthless in my PJs,

drop by at Body Shop SP *need to shop in order to pump my self esteem back*, greeted by some unruly overly make up mammal wearing whatever sarong! give me that 5 cent looks,
I end up buying something with orange container, something that can bring my youthfulness back in minute ha ha ha...shopping is a treatment too!! End up buying unintended goods, such as facial mask at Elianto and make up remover :P

p/s: wearing facial mask in the car, acting like after-facelift-nosejob-me, actually its a tribute to JACKO!!
p/s: no paparazzi pls! TQ!
p/s: im ok now, a lil sour but creamy meeee!

terbalik seluruh duniaku!

2009-06-29T06:40:00.004+08:00

it's been a hectic week, a.m-p.m kitchen session, sleepless night getting the cookies ready for the charity sale. The nerves is ticking nervously, sleep is just an action without feeling, but it turn out superb, here I would thank : *im head over heel about my baby project*

Cik Mat

-For the superb cake recipes

my family monopoly
- for everything

CikSu
-for giving me the courage from an ID to someone who are involves in cooking (chef is too cheffery ok!!)

V E S
- the ideas, the mutual strength tq tq tq

The sale easily went off, cakes sold in minutes some in second, during the cake testing this lady make an on the spot order for her function on that night itself!!!.. phewww
I survived 2 huge cakes using my small oven (trust me a lot like the size of an A3 paper*not that wide*) phewww, the result is superb, the final product and the comment is beyond average...

p/s: I think he likes me and I think I like him too...
p/s: sedapnya hati tidak jemu tak sabar bermanja hanya sehari tak bertemu macam selamanya...
p/s: aku terseksa dengan sendu bila engkau jauh, aku bermimpi riang terbang pagi sampai senja
p/s: cinta dihati sudah kembang untuk engkau saja - sampai terbalik seluruh duniaku
p/s: my mistake too much dream on the spot.. ahahah
p/s: bila ku layu lagi sedih

miss u like candy

2009-06-22T08:22:00.002+08:00

I miss u all :))
absolutely busy classes/kitchen
nervous about going public abt my food
nervous nervous
busy busy with orders...
miss u ppl muahssssssss
sex is a big miss...

lifeless motionless

2009-06-17T23:53:00.003+08:00

i got no feeling, i'm trying to gain my feeling as much as possible, it irritates me badly about my no-feeling-feeling... My therapist asked to see him as often as possible, my feeling graph drop drastically. The shaman who gives spiritual helps is trying his best to help. Ive lost interest in getting to know ppl, attending public function la la la la etc.
My friends is helping too.. good luck to everyone.. Im losing the will to feel :P

King Jamil

2009-06-03T08:31:00.005+08:00

I'm stressed because King Jamil will be taking over my class and he is super professional and I'm unable to peel ubi keledek properly woohooooooooooo I'm superstar stress!!
King Jamil (no idea about this uncle, but as he was telling about his so called life experience, my heart's racing faster and I'm no longer sleeping !)

Sultanah (is it right?) Bolkiah's master cook,
personal cook for the king's
cook for M.Jackson and Whitney Houston (la la la)
airline's cook
worked all around the world
with 5 * hotels and resorts
senior chef
alim / pious
strictttttttttttttttttt habes wa cakap beb
well known as an underground chef
not popular but dangerously popular (silent killer)
I'M PANIC AND SCARED with his TAG LINE (pantas cekap amanah - PCA) woahh amanah mungkin boleh tapi lagi 2 ...tak pernah tercapai
pet name : King Jamil

p/s: I don't want to goggle him, not now maybe later way much later, need to learn him by heart 1st

Just stand up

2009-05-27T21:54:00.005+08:00

Location: KL Central (Commuter waiting area)
Time: 1830
Date: Today
Cast: ME as the main doer!.. others passengers!!
Costume: college uniform (baju kurung white top + black bottom + black Bata's) + iPhone

I have to take the other 16 mins arrival train, because the current train is jammed pack, ok ok I can obey that! When the train arrived I don't have to hop on people kept pushing, well hello the rule is U have to let "them" out first, it'll make easier for "us" to go in!!! but no one seems to be so greedy/tired/selfish and kept pushing, I dont have to walk people kept pushing and indirectly they are pushing my abilities and my anger not knowing that I have my Syafawi Quranic exam in 1hr time and im having my PMS!!!

So people kept pushing ~ :D as I tried to control my depression towards whatever (read my previous entree) I open my mouth and shouted

NO PUSHING PLEASE, FOR SAFETY REASON!!!!!!!!!!! loud and clear, and people stops! and I felt embarrassedly proud of myself (im standing tall) The area is finally clear, and I know that mamat with the topman carrier + wedding band amused with my ability to shout!.. and that mamat with Fitness 1st bag wish he could ask for my number rather than staring at my playlist!!

There are time when pushing is needed

birth
sex
constipation
in danger
low self esteem
etc but not when u r selfish!

p/s: finally the lioness has spoken
p/s: never judge this person by the pink iPhone and unruly uniform
p/s: I bitterly roar
p/s: readers U should feel happy U are the 1st person to know about my ACHIEVEMENT for peace and safety!!! (dont dare to tell my parent - )
p/s: for the meaning of freedom, therapist needed

left unwritten

2009-05-27T06:01:00.005+08:00

in few days time I have to drag myself to go back to my hometown *grrrrrrrreatttt suckkkaaaaaa*my cousin is getting -her own cage- / getting married *sigh* my bro and his family will be on the road with us too, so its a crowd, I haven't attended any wedding this year as I promise to myself its a sober year *yeah backoff with wedding veil or wedding bells la la la* - will only attend if ~-(don't know, no reason to attend) worst the night off my arrival from my hometown, next week, I'd be having my kitchen training (can U imagine? after hours of driving and the need of having sex with flour and butter!)
This reservation to snatch me off the trip has been going on since January : so here goes

My auntie/the bride : pls come to my wedding, it'll be nothing without U
Me : Yeah righttttttttt... (upon god's will)

-------------------------

My mum : U r coming with us right?
Me : to ??????
My mum : Nazra's wedding
Me : U know I don't attend wedding right right right

---------------------------------

My eldest niece (Buncah)
Buncah : it'll be fun
Me : dude u know how i hate weddings
Buncah : so ok we'll stay in, we'll have fun ...
Me : im in too,
Buncah : awsome
Me : i know u know the best!!!!!

So we'll be bringing our :

psp
xbox
our projector for movie/games/karaoke viewing
our traveling karaoke set
bitchy beachy beach attire
surfboard
mags and books
laptops
BAGS of our moody moods ( me and Buncah have attitude problem, she doesn't like crowded area, and I dun like weddings)
couple of Q n A sheets of practiced answer upon some silly bossy annoying questionnaire

(This is during crucial times and I some how or rather, me existence needed around the wedding ceremony)

Q : badan naik eh?
A : tak (blah)

Q : ehehehe awak bila lagi??
A : Lepas raya korban (terus blah) -tahun bila dengan siapa? left unanswered)

Q : dah kerja ke?
A : dah (terus blah)

Q : dah boleh bawak kerete ke?
A : baru je boleh (ahahhaha - blah)

Q : apa jadi kat budak lelaki yang dulu bawak balik kg tuh?
A : yang mana satu? lupa sudah (blah)

Q : eyyy nampak kurus sikit
A : haah kurus (blah)

Q : takkan takde lagi calon2 kot
A : ramai
Q : dah tunggu apa lagi, kawin je la terus
A : tak tahu nak pilih mana satu
Q : ala. takkan takdak yang berkenan
A : takdak (blah)

urghh I don't like this, what make me attend this wedding? even Zamarul Hisham and Diana Rafar send me their wedding card I refuse to attend
Why I'm doing this?? because it's a nitemareeeeee, i cant breathe i cant sleep i wakes up earlier than i should... Im stress I need my therapist and he's out of my reach for a week, im stuck I cant do so many things, I disliking my dislikes Im crumpling.... feel like fighting ...
Honestly I need to admit myself to the emergency room... therapist needed!

Happeyh Burpday!!!!

2009-05-24T21:20:00.006+08:00

wooahoooo, since I'm a kitchen freak + stop working for good + no firm income = I have to be creative in order to celebrate any occasions with my love ones, no money with love type kind of gift + effort ~ (T_T)

Deeb, for U I will dear, py burpday yeah!!..

Happy B'day to Fierce Tasya too!

p/s: for Lish's cupcake on 20th May 09 (Chocolate + Banana with Peanut Butter + Frosting)
p/s: Tasya's cake (whoever inspired face) -Butter creamed spongecake + Vanilla with chocolate ganache) tq

if u ever know

2009-05-22T14:27:00.002+08:00

if u ever know what I'm doing isn't something easy for me to face or even do. Its really hard, even harder for the one who facing it. I dont have any link to channel this anymore

corny me!

2009-05-20T07:49:00.003+08:00

I'm tired, I woke up with slow paced heart yet my mind is rushing, I'm angry, angry for nothing~ Is this something that got to do with the activity or emotional activity done before I'm off to bed??
I realized ever since I've stop teaching at the kindergarten I've becoming someone who is easily snapped off/short tempered and whatever my opinion given leads to "do I look like I care?" attitude! (ahah not really yesterday I stayed longer @ college just to help Chingy understanding new-learn topic = FLOUR, owh yeah to be noted, I re-write the notes back for her)
Last night I dreamed~

Location : my present college

scene : I'm about to throw my fully eaten corn cob (is a COB right, gahh) As I throw the corn off, I overheard one of the girl seated at the table nearby commented about me to her friends "perasan baik" Than I ran to her table and said "weh, ko mengata aku ehs??" and directly I pulled her of her sit and twists her neck and punched her right to her face, I even slammed her head (how comforting eyh!!) and I told myself "what should I do?" the result is I throw her off into the dustbin where all the Corn Cobs lay rested.
Soon after the incident I tried to tell my mum, I've cried in my dream telling myself I need to see my therapist and begged my mum to send me to any therapist available.

p/s: I've canceled my therapy session earlier on

pertama dalam pertama

2009-05-18T19:54:00.002+08:00

Percaya atau tidak, hari ni adalah hari pertama aku gunakan/naik perkhidmatan BAS/BAS AWAM! ahahha kelas habis awal so aku ngan Chingy naik bas!

(Bas)

super best hampir orgasm dengan kebesaran cermin bas
one day aku nak duduk kat kerusi tinggi/dekat ngan pemandu bas
kali 1 pegang tiket bas
salah cucuh duit *nasib baik abang bas hensem bangat tolong - tolong gelakkan juga*
seronok abang bas usher keluar bila sampai kat Taman Bahagia (ekceli dia nak cek side mirror ajer) *tp dia babai laa kat aku*
suka semua orang membantu CHINGY n BangBas esp!!!

(Komuter)

Slow nak mampos
2-3 kali tukar arrival schedule
KALI pertama aku sound orang dalam komuter

keadaan berasak-rasak @ pintu kecik, kakak neh dah kedepan sempat pulak

Kakak : eh eh (panggil kawan) cepatla2 pegang tangan masuk,
Aku : Hallo, jalan2 bf biar dulu, kasi aku masuk dulu *sigh* -Honestly bila aku pakai Chef Suit, aku takde masa nak cuci mata nak baik2 dengan sapa2, unless cacat/mengandung-

(Poliklinik kajaan)
Woah hensem mamat neh, walaupun jalan macam baru lepas bersunat, ngan sua pendek + kain plekat kat tangan *kiut nye pasal I dun care* Berdiri sebelah aku plak tuh... Tiba2 ade plak minah neh dok pegang bahu dia, ceh! should I or shouldn't I kasi dier duduk, walaupun dia sakit..

Aku : argh mampos la awek ada, suruh la awek tuh riba ke papah ke timang ke.. pangku ke..*ROFL*

p/s: at times I'm proud to be selfish n rude p/s: is good to be Malay written my blog, puas hati nak maki dan berkesat kesatan...

good Job!

2009-05-17T18:54:00.002+08:00

Description:RELEASE DATE : 2009

Anak Aku Artis!

8-May-2009, 10:00:00 PM

Genre: Drama

Language: Bahasa Malaysia

Cast: Mimi - Dina ERA

Synopsis:

Anak Mak Lang Nak Jadi bintang menceritakan Mak Lang yang mempunyai seorang anak bernama Mimi yang ingin menjuarai tancangan realiti tv Akademi Bintang. Tetapi cita-citanya terbantut apabila Mimi terkeluar sebelum pertandingan akhir. Mak Lang memerlukan wang kemenangan untuk membayar pinjaman teksi yang disewanya. Kini Mak Lang terpaksa memikirkan jalan untuk mendapatkan wang tersebut. Kebetulan hakim rancangan realiti tv Ikmal menaiki teksinya, lantas Mak Lang mengambil keputusan untuk menulik Ikmal bagi memastikan anaknya Mimi diserap semula ke dalam rancangan realiti tersebut. Maka berlakulah pelbagai insiden lucu untuk memastikan cita-cita Mak Lang menjadikan anaknya juara tercapai.

Stuck at home on Sunday evening, done myself for all the heavy breathing movie such as City of Angels, etc ~ Switched on to Ria @ Astro and watched Anak Aku Artis, an indie spirited movie + Juno-kinda-like-it, whatever it is, I think the plot/storyline and the combo of artists used in this drama balanced and coherent with "today's" viewers esp. Ppl like me!
I'm over plastic heroine/hero and bad looking intruders, I want something "real" out of the box. Ghaz, the producer uses a good graphically idea such as using "collage" as part of the medium in the drama. Ha ha ha I know one day Ghaz able to come out with something "at heart" for our "new-malaysian-viewers" (Im excited!!!)

p/s: I've called Ghaz's colleague to congratulate upon his achievement!!
p/s: Ghaz's is the man behind most of Anuar Zain's mtv
p/s: Yeah I've worked with Ghaz for sev times!
p/s: He borrowed my trackmill to be used in Kaer's mtv!
p/s: I'm bragging !!!

buddy o o o buddy ~

2009-05-16T08:43:00.003+08:00

One of my f-buddy IM me, yeah done with hi and hello, he hits me at the right time ..

Hey! how's life and la la la ~ I'm ynroh (:D) can we have xes??

(mission accomplish!)

I still can't sleep, and tomorrow is rehab session and worst, my body is about to be tested/weigh/alcohol/fat/bmi/urine (and u name it, they will dig me) Logged on the net and do some minor chatting and met few of the 95-97 Alamakians and walked the memoir lane together (arghh) I remember those days where cyber sex is clearer than the blue sky, each words typed is a sonnet, we are strangers yet we are so into cyber sex an its not a taboo as its done today!! (what am I?? standard 6??) We emailed each other at HOTMAIL.COM and its a love letter between us and just like hand written letters, words rhyme and harmonized, that was the day when we used too woo each other using songs and lyrics (ENOUGH!!!)

4.00 a.m + mug of Milo + 2x bahulu + midnite call from Randy = able for a nap
730 a.m = wake up wake up, rehab time!!!! (Should i or shouldn't I attend my therapy session??)
Since entering rehab, I've plastered my walls/doors/surfaces with wisdom's/motivational/lyrical phrases/words just to motivate me to move and attend my therapy session!!! (even after 3-3.5 hrs sleeping) YES, I took my bath and off to rehab zombifiedly!!!!!!!

@ Rehab..

I dun like(zombie shouldn't be kind to any) this lady who I think she thinks herself is super-hot (which i dun think soooo) and miss-know-it all,worst ! she is the receptionist (there are others too, but she always makes the beeline over whatever!!) blahhh

She's being nice and greeted me : "Awak nampak letih sangat muka tuh"
Me: Smiles and "yeahh yeah yeah" can U check my therapist my session is at 9 a.m (bed and food needed)
therapist: what happen to U??
Me: sex sex sex - chatting - game = sleepless nite (untold of course!) "hurm, something happened last nite and I didn't manage to sleep well"

hey hey hey ~ I went thru my 1.5 hrs session bravaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to me pls!!! Went home for my fruity loops + cereals + soya + 5hrs sleep

p/s: the heart can beat the hate

brekkie!!!

2009-05-14T21:22:00.003+08:00

BIG BREAKFAST...anybody???

p/s: I'm horny = too descriptive

kerusi kosong~

2009-05-14T20:03:00.002+08:00

Something that came out of nowhere...

Scene - Lec. Room 6, front row (class Pn. Fiza : Hygienic n Sanitation sub.)
Cast - me, ain LEFT-i + ain LEFT-i's mineral water + kerusi kosong
Genre - blur sotong... (ROFL)

I sat in between Ain LEFT-i and kerusi kosong

Ain LEFT-i : Kak, tadi orang call kenapa tak angkat tepon

Me : gah, tak perasan

(sambil pegang mineral water...)

Ain LEFT-i : (angkat botol mineral) nak air??

Me: (pandang, kiri) *dalam hati* woah, sebelah aku kosong dia cakap ngan sapa?? offer sapa air?? *aku meroma!* berantuuuuuuuuuuu ke??

Me: erkkkk no tq,

- Lama2 aku tenung si Ain LEFT-i neh baru aku perasan mata kiri dia JULING....

p/s : tq Ain niat ko baik dik!

butterfly

2009-05-13T07:05:00.003+08:00

Never felt any better, thanks to Ciksu and some others who soothed me thru my 1st day @ college. Friendless, I don't know anyone, I didn't look around, not wanting to know anyone, scared to look around in case, there's-the-cutie and he will be the attraction core.
Arghh, I didn't go to the loo, I waited till lunch time. We were place in the dimmed lighting mini theater, I misplaced my reading glasses earlier on, so I manage to notice the others only during the last period of the orientation, well well well as I'm assuming they are all babies!!!!!! woahhh freshies from high school!..hurm they are extremely funny, the fact that they're around, calm me down~
Well, I bought my B-First black school shoes! weyhh I felt younger at wrong places... ahaah save me!! I felt I'm stuck in some underages' , wohoo help me!

Back to school !!!

2009-05-10T20:28:00.002+08:00

Never felt worse for years since I left college, here I'm back to pieces after years leaving college/freshman/dating/into-you/assignment/dudes/babes gahhhh I'm into it again, tomorrow!.. The worst part is:

Uniform included
white top with black trousers
anything with white turn me off
VEST is included = looking like over stuff waitress @ some cheap hotel
I have to carry my own "Kad Metrik"
orientation
those unknown
NO ONE
lonesome
miss my students
UNIFORM (fugly) againnnnnnn
1 of my ex-bf used to study at the same college (Luckily, I'm not into him ah ha)
he's history
books + reading
I'm having bad flu
reschedule rehab session (gahhh)
middle of nowhere
tons of MISS ATIE-to be-wannabe-act alike (ciksu if u read ths!) arghh

Some starlight!

I got to tailor made my own CHEF suit
wearing SAFETY boots
checkered pants
CHEF-to-be
new crowd of people
something got to do with ASIAN CULINARY INSTITUTE
young at one again!
something new
ok laaa...
I will do my best ok...

Laugh it off let it go (=====D)

2009-05-10T19:59:00.002+08:00

Not Fair - Lily Allen

Oh, he treats me with respect,
He says he loves me all the time,
He calls me 15 times a day,
He likes to make sure that im fine,
You know I've never met a man,
Whose made me feel quite so secure,
He's not like all them other boys,
They're so dumb and immature.

There's just one thing,
That's getting in the way,
When we go up to bed your just no good,
its such a shame!
I look into your eyes,
I want to get to know you,
And then you make this noise,
its apparent its all over

Its not fair,
And i think your really mean,
I think your really mean,
I think your really mean.

Oh your supposed to care,
But you never make me scream,
You never make me scream,

Oh it's not fair,
And it's really not ok,
It's really not ok,
It's really not ok,

Oh your supposed to care,
But all you do is take, yea all you do is take

Yewell I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed
I'm feeling pretty hard done by, I spent ages giving head
then I remember all the nice things that you've ever said to me
maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe your the one for me

there's just one thing that's getting in the way
Not Fair lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/English/51978-Not-Fair~Lily-Allen.html
when we go up to bed you're just not good it's such a shame
I look into your eyes I want to get to know you
and then you make this noise and its apparent it's all over

it's not fair and I think your really mean
I think your really mean
I think your really mean

oh your supposed to care but you never make me scream
you never make me scream

oh it's not fair and it's really not ok
it's really not ok
it's really not ok

oh your supposed to care but all you do is take
all you do is take

there's just one thing that's getting in the way
when we go up to bed you're just not good it's such a shame
I look into your eyes I want to get to know you
and then you make this noise and its apparent it's all over

it's not fair and I think your really mean
I think your really mean
I think your really mean
oh your supposed to care but you never make me scream
you never make me scream

oh it's not fair and it's really not ok
it's really not ok
it's really not ok
oh your supposed to care but all you do is take
all you do is take

p/s: Seek Professional Helps!

tata??

2009-04-07T21:04:00.001+08:00

sex is just sex, lifeless
checked into rehab, will be flying off for a cuppa... :P

my bad

2009-04-04T00:18:00.002+08:00

due to jam packed schedule, agendas and other domestic crisis I've delayed my sex-lunch-quickie, dang! I've lost my f**** buddy, as the show begin, I have to answer an important call, by the time I finished he's gone, and I'm left feeling 'hungry' - Worst I'm about to meet my personal trainer...

I can't help myself from staring at the bulgy bulging bulge... aaaaaaaaaaa help me, need to be trained, my body! not my eye!!!!!

hence I'm zombified, left. leaving 'hungry' and pressured ... wohooo

trainer:: come on come on

me:: what?? kemut?? kemut?? (LOST)

powerless

2009-04-02T17:53:00.002+08:00

I'm sober, badly, I'm counting days to leave, my happiness, my students, for a new stanza of joy, for something more promising... I'm paralyse, fail to orgasm...

April ??? who???

2009-04-02T17:46:00.002+08:00

text msg from whoever, date 1st April, Rabu

sms : Hey semua orang, dengan persetujuan kedua belah pihak, keluarga saya (belah lelaki) telah setuju untuk menyatukan saya dan gf saya, minta maaf kerana last minute beritahu U all semua, sapa yang tahu jemput la hadir (SOMETHING LIKE THAT LA, hell! I can't remember all)

me : SAPA NI???

sms : I laaaa...kawan U

me : Ye la kawan mana satu??

sms : APRILLLLL FOOL.....

me : ??? tak kenal, sorry!

p/s - Honestly I can't remember who is he/she..until this moment, I fail to track who is this whoever....

weak

2009-03-28T16:21:00.003+08:00

( I makes him weak and he makes me even weaker.. huhuu ) Yesterday I went to KLCC's Cold Storage to purchase my greenies, Arugula, Sweet Basil and other designer's salad, instead of hopping 2 trains to Mid Valley, it was a plain-normal day, to spice things up I called up this guy who I happen to know for the past 3 days and set a date together its an after thought thingy ~

(things that makes me thinking, "am I a dude??" macho/cool dude??)

i arrives earlier than him
i eat sour cream + onion bagel, without bothering the after smell
i left the 'meet-me-spot' because he was late
ask him to come and find me after 8 unanswered calls *he's cuckoo*

Well thats a starting point I guess...

he came wearing an oversize Polo, (that shirt must be a machine washed cause the length almost hits his knee *my goodnesssssssss*
i suggested we go for movie cause I can't ran away after a 5 min hi and hello
he was teeth clattering in the cinema cause its too cold, he kept saying he's cold, I hardly bothered him cause I sinfully attaching myself with a bucket of popcorn *to warmth me up darlinggg*
after the 3rd time he kept repeating the same thing I finally answered "HEY, DO YOU WANT ME TO HOLD YOUR HAND?" (Wooohoo my mankind is being challenged ahhahah can u sense my testrogen adrenaline that streams in me?)
he agreed and I held his bony hand
bought my greenies which I proudly tell u out there "I'm plasticless and I'm purchasing the GO GREEN bag from the supermarket, its a kiss ass thingy for me" wohoooo
I said goodbye and keep him to 'rest'
MY GOD!!!

tatih-tatih sepi

2009-03-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

terima kasih, terima kasih ini besar, kebesaran yang ditunjuk walaupun sekelip mata, walaupun kurang dari masa yang mengambil masa, sudah cukup memberi kesan kepada diri yang suatu masa bergelimpangan riang di ruang galaksi yang akhirnya merentap segala nikmat yang tumbuh di celah-celah tapak kaki mereka yang tak disangka.
Nikmat itu jua kembali tanpa disedari, datang pasti dariNYA melalui "mereka" yang juga tak disangka bisa membawa~
Kaki yang pernah berpijak digalaksi tua dunia ini ditarik nikmatnya, sekelip mata, cinta antara usia hilang, bait-bait suara berirama berentakkan nafsu juga sayup jauh tidak kedengaran, apa yang ada suatu pertanyaan, keadilan diri yang tak berkesempatan terfikir untuk bersuara sudah jauh meninggalkan. Akibatnya, diri tenggelam, hilang, hilang habis segalanya, tiada segala indah fizika yang suatu masa di agungkan di pelbagai corong telinga, sentuhan panas yang automatisnya bisa memanaskan segala yang berdarah tanpa tulang, urat-urat merih yang cair di atas lidah di hujung jari juga sudah dikelasifikasikan sebagai "DULU" ~
Dimana diri ketika itu? ranap? hancur? lebur, malah cair didalam kecairan akibat panas yang tak dileraikan.... tak ada lagi jati diri ini, hanya bisa merodok kekunci abjad berlapiskan air masin diri, malu, manis itu tidak, malah masin itu bertambah kelat, payau. Mengheret kuderat yang tak pasti, membina kembali dasar asal dimana keagungan tercipta hanya dengan sepatah ayat bersandarkan suara yang akhir membawa kecamuk si pemuja, adakah ini akhir diri, memakan diri ini??
Berpuntung-puntung kali membakar diri, tak bertali putus liang mata mengalirkan derus teras air mata, hanya untuk mencari jawapan atas kehilangan yang mengjanggalkan diri, biar ia hanya satu rahsia tapi sejauh mana diri ini bisa menanggung rahsia yang akhirnya membusut di segelumang gumpalan daging yang mungkin tiada sinar putih malah kelam berpudarkan celoreng palsu yang pernah ditoreh demi bahagia si pemuja ......................

RAHMAT!!

2009-03-12T00:12:00.002+08:00

rahmat,

esok (khamis 12/3) jumpa di KL CENTRAL dalam 1-145, di Mc Donald. Sorry setelah borak lebih masa aku tlupa nak save no kau, aku dah korek merata hp, tp satu trace no kau pun tak ada, so aku tawwakal la cari kau, aku harap kau bangun la, tapi kalau ko takde dalam lingkungan waktu yang di tetapkan, aku gerak g KINO- KLCC, cari buku....

aku tahu kau nak jumpa aku, so harap ko baca la posting neh, tak tahu mana lagi nak contact ko, kalau ko sampai, ko (slalu takde credit) ko guna la telefon awam.. ok ok ok....

c u when i c u...

unfortunately me

2009-02-11T09:18:00.005+08:00

Wasn't all prep to fly back here in KL, told my parent we should come back during the school break but she insisted because my nanna wanted to be in KL badly, so Im all joy and pack my suitcase and other essentials... and everything seems fine untilllll ......

Scene 1
-------------------------------
I arrived with my dad 1st and my mum and others were in other car, and everything look fine I enter my house graciously saying salam, and telling them (my households) that I miss them badly, and dash to my room, jeng jeng jenggggg I open my door which I strongly remembered that I locked each of my bedroom doors, but how come I can push it open when it should be locked? Amazingly, my upgraded desktop with the accessories (keyboard,mouse pad and such) wasn't there anymore, danggg! me got robbed! Our house wasn't being scattered or trash (as in movie, burglarized house was pictured) it's all kept in place.
Ok I inform my dad, and told my mum to be calm as I told her house is robbed~ I'm calm ...
I called Anna my beloved *so far* neighbour and she came and be with us la la la la la la

Scene 1.1
-------------------------
Hours after exploring what are those taken

complete set of my desktop + Internet modem
2 pails
2 new bought pillows
nanna's tote bag inclusive bed spread, duvet, and nanna's fav face cloth
some of my bundle bought tee

Yeah they didn't manage to take my Astro decoder, my dvd player, I don't know why~ attacked my room! yay!... (come on la my unit is on the 8th floor) and they escaped from my dry yard, they dared themselves to death for my DESKTOP *upgraded of course!!* gahhhh~ We asked our beloved neighbour to accompany my nanna and maid (both are helplessly scared) while we were off to the nearby LAPD (police station ok)

It took 'them' minutes to type a simple, a paragraph of statement which I guessed is a template-ready thingy!! LOL, what happen to them?? can't they jot down it fast, can they answered the phone later? and assist my entourage 1st (we are mildly traumatized and tired and hungry) ~ As we are asked to meet the other cop on the 1st floor, it such an unfriendly situation - environment - staff, I was asked to do a complete (a bad repetitive activity) report in a 6' by 12' room accompany with 2 officers and other whatever crime victim and there is a big tv which is switched on to the reality show and its fucking blaring loud, IT SUPPOSED to be a police station not a GHOST HOUSE come CHEAP MOTEL come POLICE STATION , honestly darling It scares me more than what happen back than in my UNIT~~ ;((

Scene 1.2

---------------

Hrs of waiting and it's almost 1 a.m (Im settle in my bra and panties) to tired to think and off to sleep in my robbed room, careless, I've touched and disturbed the rodent area, since I photographed the disturbia scene earlier on. I'm close to doze off when the bell rung, and there I'm sexily *I guessed* covered in my tiniest blanket to address the photographer from the police dept.

me: woah lambat nya datang

him: banyak kerja

me: tunggu la nak pakai baju

him: (padan muka menunggu)

He came in less than 10 min and off settling other cases, no finger prints taken, no detailing and so on, my case was taken shallow, just because no one died the CSI wasn't well performed *GAH*~ He snapped my front wall, and I asked what is it for, and he answered It's important to him (I DONT KNOW ppl ACTUALLY ADMIRED MY BABY BLUE PAINTED WALL) *dun be shy dear inspector u r not the first)

Scene 2 (next day) -BEST PART-

------------------

it's a public holiday my parent off to do *i dont know* and I'm asked to look after my maid and nanna *WHY??* so soon after I'm dead lost without my PC and other gadget, I choose to sun bathed and swim in the mid mildly heat afternoon, went on swimming for 3 hrs. There are multiracial swimmers in the pool ok ok ok ~

Then this INDIAN guy and his Philippines friend came and approach me and we start talking,laughing la la la (thanks to my Quicksilver's rashey and my tank kini) and after 2 hrs waiting to pee I choose to climb out and off to the loo, and on my first step at the stairs I slipped off and fell bum-on-the-stairs-1st-dying-moment, and got up painfully and continue my journey to the loo (LUCKILY NO ONE NOTICE, I'M VOLUPTUOUSLY FAST!)

and I painfully CONTINUE flirting IN THE POOL and acted like NOTHING HAPPEN!!!wooahoo

He took my number and I painfully happily off the pool, and soon after an hour sleep in I finally can't properly sit and bend, in a panicking situation I confessed to my parent, and I was asked to meet my manly orthopedist the next day for a detailed check up (I'm fucking scared that I'll be paralyzed) - YES YES YES that guy texted me !! yay!

Scene 3??

-----

Took an emergency leave and head to the hospital, well dressed was wearing a grammy awards-looking-skirt. I walk like someone who came from the maternity department!! (seriously IT'S FUCKING PAINFULLY) and everything went well (Alhamdulillah) the X-ray show nothing serious than just a sore muscle (HELLO I'M STILL UNABLE TO SIT AND STAND PROPERLY)....

Scene 3.1

------------

While waiting for my dad at the hosp. This cute looking man came and wanted to know me, so we got to know each other and I gave him my number *hey hey hey Valentine is coming up* gahhh~ and he called me and confessed to me that I looked sexy and voluptuous and la la la and he really want to 'be' with me!!! Oyyyyyyy~ So there u go I kept him on HOLD...

p/s - Im sick and I careless on the typo (I'm partially disable)

p/ss- sorry I'm 'away' for quite sometimes, I'm adjusting to my current situation

p/ss- I'm in dilemma should I DATE SOMEONE who STAY in the same CONDO under one roof as I'?

p/sss- meeting guy is cool but when 1/2 of it are into 'illegal' itimacy activity = suxx ok!

p/ssss- I missed my mengaji class for the 2nd time and I dislike the idea,

p/ssss: seating in the car and on a normal chair is harder than making a complete rows of bungalow mockup model (complete with cars and tress and other whatever)

p/ssssss- I'm in pain in various way

p/sssss- yes I make out with someone this aftertoon ehhehehehe wohooo

so berhhh

2009-01-29T21:04:00.001+08:00

i'm selectively sober. I'm moving away~ slightly 'cocked-up' and sober.. kiss ass sober (more likely)

C N Y

2009-01-24T17:34:00.002+08:00

I'm silently shaking all over my body, I can't manage to see the outcome, yeah no biggie its just me baking Chocolate Fruitcake, I know it sounded so Christmassy, instead I should be baking some steam cake in order to compliment the Oxxy's Chinese New Year. All of sudden I'm challenging myself to bake this chocolaty fruitcake, not a big fan of fruitcake, since the ingredients are prune, raisins, currant and spices, I would love to give a try to this 2 hrs baked cake!!!! Woahhooo

This is my YEAR the YEAR of the OX, I will treasure it silently... Few of my friends asked what is my plan for this C N Y holiday, gah it's only a 2 days off apart from the weekend.. hurm lemme see~

i'd be cooking loads of stir fry
i'd be making pizza
spring cleaning my room (seriousssly)
make a teaching plan for my students
eat more veggies
eat more fruits
visiting relatives
sadly send my bro's bibik home
donating stuff
cleaning cleaning cleaning
another round of cooking
after a week off the chocolate (I do sneak some ok!) I want to settle down me self with some good sexy chocolate bite (a pure dark choco)
laden me self with a good hearty cheese over any saladddy dish
watch porn till I puke
going out with friends
spend more time with my family
I'd make love in his jammies, sit on his lap while his reading, let him make do me
intoxicated with sex
repeating activities that include sex food man cooking cleaning

ps: my biggest craving is homemade OLIVE PIZZA with loads of fking olives
pss: man
psss: books

improved

2009-01-17T07:48:00.003+08:00

I'm improving my life/lifestyle, my work life, I'm improving, at times it falls down the drain at times it roses itself.. :))

Replaceable

U make it easier when life get hard, I'm lucky, I know I brag too much but I loves my student!!

ps: I'm loading veggies and fruits to my daily LIFE
pss: If u spot someone looking like any type of fruit or vegge, THAT's ME!!
psss: I'm start planning
pssss: I'm focused YET I'm loosing it silently
psssss: I miss kissing/sex/man/more man/sex/no trying any *IM FOCUSED*
pssssss: I managed to 'score' this morning @ PASAR SEGAR, the MAN who me got crush at helped me with my carrier to my car, I'm melting
pssssssss: I'm smelling man everywhere I go esp, at the grocery store this evening aaaaaaaa
psssssssss: I'm 'fasting'

amin...

2009-01-14T17:18:00.002+08:00

at last finally with strength and effort im able here to be at masjid s alm, pursuing part of my dream or best to say part of my yearly resolution, learning to well recite the qorun, its always an ongoing dream to learn, this is where the beauty of qorun's grammar is learn and shall the fluency of the pronunciation being taught to improved. I can read the quran as the fluency i sing yre my everything Santa Esmeralda but this isnt like english this is better than Spanish this issss beauty, at times reading it is accompanied by a joyful tears, tears of joy, but i failed to identified the hidden calling hence there is no profound meaning that im hunger to seek the deeper truth behind those powerful magical words that at times swipes mt feet off. Im afloat when im recit …… (lost of words)

Sent from my iPhone

semago berjaya la yer kepada saya, saya KELAS 3 ASAS yer, sebab tajwid saya melongkang, jangan risau kawan2 ada nenek tuh pon join kelas saya~ (ade PERTENGAHAN ngan LANJUTAN sblm grad dapat sijil dan kalau OK - JAIS kasi keje, ngajar Al-Quran)

ps:1000 things to do before I die
pss:aminnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

no reason why!!

2009-01-11T20:39:00.003+08:00

We are happy for those wedded couple!! Such as Fergie and whoever-he-is - So we bought cake and celebrate our life (Myself to be exact! life without any string or ring attached!!! wee huu??)

Tq party popper!!! Inclusive 3 maids... and countless kids!! gahhh...

older ::))

2009-01-11T15:29:00.009+08:00

I'm getting older, I'm growing graciously yet I'm worried too:: too many worries to be worried, I'm practicing semi-vegetarian diet, yet I'm a pescetarian (eats any combination of vegetables, fruit, nuts, beans and fish or invertebrate seafood, but will not eat mammals or birds. Some animal products like eggs and dairy may or may not be part of a pescetarian diet plan.)
*swear tuhan sih*
Vanilla creme & Pure Seduction all Au natural for my healthy aging process *gahhhh* (Laura Mercier & Victoria's Secret Garden, tq for those concern!!!)

tinggal

2009-01-10T13:49:00.003+08:00

hari ini aku pergi dulu ya, izinkan aku pergi sebentar, izinkan aku bersama diriku sebentar, biarkan kosong ini diisi untuk diriku, sepiku bagi diriku, biar ya aku belengu sendiri, aku tak bisa membahayakan diri ini lagi disamping sampingan. Pasti aku merindu, kau mungkin pasti merindu, hanya kepastian belum ada satu ketentuan. Aku hari ini bakal meninggalkan segala yang lepas dilepaskan, semua penciptaan bagiku yang lepas bakal ku tinggal walaupun larutan di tengah jalan, maaf kalau ini mengejut yer. Ini sudah pilihan lama tapi baru dijadikan mungkin sebentar tadi, aku pasti peninggalan aku bermakna. Kalau tiadanya aku, ku pasti aku meninggalkan kamu tanpa sebarang apa nota atau peta jalan carian aku kala aku pergi.
Mungkin ini pemergian bagi satu permulaa.....
Izinya aku pada kamu untuk merindu dan diteruskan oleh keluhan hela nafas yang panjang.

ps:: pemergian yang tiada kepastian
pss: suatu pra-kematian yang sang tidak agung
psss: tiada perancangan
pssss: hey, si lelaki di dalam sut Brioni, kamu akan masih kekal ku kecam di kamar ya!!
psssss: kesudahan dinanti nanti
pssssss: aku pergi dulu ya
psssssss: aku tersedar dari sentakan pemikiran si guru cetek, aku terlupa untuk bercinta dengan aku, aku sedang bercinta, aku sedang belajar memupuk cinta pada diri ini yang semuanya serba serbi kurang, kurang akal, kurang memikir, kurang cantik, kurang tgi, kurang kurus.... satu masa bila semua cinta itu bergerak utUh, pasti aku akan kembali
pssssssss: punat2 nombor sudah tiada

itu kamu~

2009-01-10T10:24:00.004+08:00

selamat hari hari cinta baruku
terima cintaku disambut sambut seperti selalu,
aku terima cinta kasih sayang mu lahir zarah putih bersih walau kanvas mu berporeng corak dan warna ,kau masih dirimu, walaupun coraknya masih ku pelajari, tapi azalinya kau adalah ciptaanNya kepadaku
terima kasih cinta, tidak pernah terdetak hati ini untuk merafak kasih cinta bersamamu, sekuat mana setia adanya sebegini,
setiap detik berdetak, aku seakan bernafas nama dan jantungmu, wajah, olesan karikatur hidup dan ambangan suaramu terngiang kuat di jantung ini,
kau nyawaku,
Terima kasih wahai tuhan, mencipta, sinari jalan cinta abadi, suluhan lurah-lurah kasih cinta akhirnya di sisi kamu, mungkin roh kami dah bersaut satu, mungkin jasad tak seutuh roh kami, ikatan sayang kasih dan marah adalah permulaan detik sayang yang lebih utuh.
Mungkin hadir kamu di sisi aku adalah awal rahmat, jalan hapusnya dosa-dosa maksiat aku, suatu 'zina' kekejian yang pernah satu masa merampas maut yang belum pasti dipanggil, kau datang dengan sekelip mata, menyedarkan bahawa senyuman esOk masih ada, kau bergantung jasad-jasad mulus eLok kecil berkerdip di kaki, tangan dan badanku. Ahhha inilah jasad yang kucinta, yang pernah menjernihkan cinta yang keruh di hatiku, yang menarik mengetuk ruang terendak jantung nyawa bergelar cinta dan kasih sayang.
Mungkin ini jalan takdirku, adakah?
berhabis masa didepan mata kecil mu, menghabiskan suara di lohong2 telingamu, tanganmu ku genggam disetiap pagi mengingatkan kamu, JANJI JANJI JANJI ku akan senantiasa bersamamu, pasti akan ku tanamkan zarah-zarah unggul dalam hidupmu agar akhir duniaMu pasti yang terbaik!!...
Ku dengar doa-doa mu, satu ketagihan baru, hanya untuk kau mendoakanKu, runtuh remuk hati ini berganti yang kukuh gaya mortar agung bingkisan juangan juangan pahlawan , :))
Nyawaku, aku tinggalkan satu kegemilangan karier, mencari NUR kasi cinta sejati, di pelosok yang tiada agungnya tapi pasti ada keikhlasan yang abadi, yang aku mencari dan masih mencari~
Pasti setiap zina, maksiat, air cinta yang pasti berdarahkan dosa, JANJI akan ku tebas agar yang tinggal hanya yang tersuci untuk aku mendampingimu dan kau lebih bermakna apabila mendampingiku, mungkin inilah jalan asal dimana ku nanti untuk membersih dosa-dosa aku yang bagiku ada harapan tanpa jalan..........

kau permata kau lah intan di sanubari ku, kau pujaan ku, sinaran rembulan menerangi jiwa- WLZ - my undying bombing energy! Teacher will always love U sugar pump!

awwwwwww me!!!!!

2009-01-06T23:43:00.003+08:00

after sev. min. chatting with this whoever.

me:: DO u have YM?

him: what is YM?

me:: YOUR MOTHER!!

him: dah MATI

me:: ????

Happy New Yes - 09 -

2009-01-02T22:55:00.004+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY 2009

(cliche?? U asked for it!!)

Happy New Me and Happy New You, may this o9 bring you all the hottest, best and better than before - u - name - it!!!... I know it's later than U've expected, but atleast I'm still here wishing U for your new year.

Thanks for all the wishes, party invi. and sorry for the turn down, gig invi too which I'm unable to attend. I'm wasting my last days of 08 by spending time with the closest ones, I wish to hold them longer so the smell and their memoir shall not fade or keep still. I'm scared there will be no more them and the new them will slowly chased my feeling off them, people change so what! ahahah

Most of the frequent asked question on the new year eve and after too, is how I celebrate/spend my new year .... Well nothing much...

no club hopping

no fancy dress - shoes - event

no sounds blaring gig

no crowd cladding scene

no flirting *minor I guess*

I'm with my friend watching movie *Zombie movie, sux yet LOVELY*

keep on asking me self, why there are FRU's everywhere, Scary eh

went to Pelita for Nasi Kandar (I've left N K for years, since I'm becoming a vegetarian again, strictly on 1/1/09, I walloped N K with Ayam Hitam and I did asked those regulars what sort of gravy I should opt for. eheheh)

hug and kisses

went around town,

thats all I'm back with my family members, where undivided love is warmth and never fade away

ps:: part of my new year's resolution is, to become a Vegetarian (I was and stop for some health issue)

psss:: to brush my teeth frequently

pssss:: to practice a basic/good/affordable beauty regime

psssss: and part of it to enjoy life/ to let life enjoy itself (?????)

i'd be missing u owh so much N K....!! and AYAM HITAM esp

Selama hidup ku~

2008-12-30T23:38:00.004+08:00

aku suka memasak, untuk sumbat dalam mulut orang - gahhh

meet my buns and my cheesy biscuits... I have no reason why I'm baking..this is the best to channel my current feeling -I don't know, tq-

ps: demi semua yang aku jalani bersamamu

pss: dirimu yang bisa membawa syurga di dalam hatimu

I'm worried

2008-12-29T16:07:00.003+08:00

I'm super worried, towards the end of 08, I've dated few guys, I've met them from various background, it's super worrying, because all of them unable to take up challenges, gahhhh this is worryingggg!!!!! it's a fringing simple task and only some are able manage passing thru, this year I've made several chaps cried, reason? ME. why? I don't know, several chap have been orally slashed by my words (darling, I don't used foul lang, even if I'm super mad, I just consult them and spell a big U-R-A-M-A-N on their FOREHEAD, and telling them that is more than having a PENIS), others I can simply tolerate, but this 2 experiences scare me off them :::

---------

This man is directed by ME thru the PHONE to my house in BUKIT JELUTONG (I KNOW this sounds like I'm staying way over behind the shield of place call TOWN or whatever, but I'M not, this is a great place to live, something like retreat area, where serenity is promoted) as this is the 1st time he made ways to my house, so I directed him it's about slightly before 8pm, (HELLO, they do have street light, and shops and signboard to guide to, and DON'T forget on the other hand!! I'M DIRECTING him personally with towel clad to my body and for heaven SAKE my hair is still wet!!!! half way thru, almost reaching my house he commented, he is STRESS and need a break, OK I can TOLERATE this!!!

As he approaching my house, I asked him to wait cause I need to get dressed and get ready, gahhhh... minute after that he called again saying "EXCUSE ME CAN YOU SPEED UP, IT'S DARK AND I'M SCARED" - I'm stunt, and in my mind (GOSH, U R NOT 9 years old, YOU ARE FREAKING OLD, and U ARE AFRAID OF THE DARK) mannn what happen to the streetlight??? gahhhhh

----------------------------------

recently (about 15 min ago) 4 pm (take note)

while I'm having my nap, someone called, and willing to meet, brag my ass out telling me he wanted to see me, it's OK even it's a 5 min date-in-front-of-my-gate, I said ok and continue napping, 15 min before arrival he called me, I had my shower when he called ~

(The same thing happen), but different chap, almost-reaching-my house, in fact the houses he told me shows that is it close to MY HOUSE, it's almost there (and I'm still directing him) and he told me "I'M SUPER BLUR, STRESSED and shall we meet some other time" - I said (OK) (HISTORY)

ps: now I'm settling down eating pickles with H2O

pss: this answers all YOUR Q, why I'm seriously unattached!

psss: what happen to all this penises holder? aren't u supposed to be the one holding maps and navigate the treasure hunt, you you you, once a tribal leader and someone trusted to be FATHERED someone waaaaaaa.. I'm scared...

pssss: those chaps are older than me and they are what?? 29?? 26 even!! (not freaking 50)

psssss: I need some new excitement!!

pssssss: isn't easy to win a movie with gahhhhhhhhhhh (SAY IT OUT LOUD)

I'M not a cat person, but meet OUR cat CANTIKA ASHLYN (I heard its a HE)

ps: without any reason I'm placing Ashlyn's on board!

sun day =))

2008-12-29T09:49:00.003+08:00

"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away" - when everyone left home for swimming (inclusive the kids) I was alone with the 2 maids and my nanna, he came to me, I was still groggy in my disgusting Baju Kelawar, he is still the same the well dressed (board short + T) tak mandi I don't bother to take a shower or do anything, I'm stunt when he arrived, well this is me messy me, (take it or leave it) we had fun, we played catch and hide and seek, yeah unusual activity for the grown up, but who cares? this is it, at one point we are clashing with James Ingram and Dolly Parton on the other hand we are playing hide and seek, ~ love struck ~

I made froggy looking pancake for brunch... we ate and spend times, watching TV, and be in each other arms, and watch Hentai *grrrrrrrrrr*

DO IT with Nutella,Peanut B, Jammyy or Sambal *love ya muahs*

when you're gone ~ =``((

ps:: that is not a Babi face ok *it's "halal"*

diam diam

2008-12-28T09:13:00.004+08:00

keadaan/perkara yang boleh buat aku berhenti dari melakukan sesuatu yang sedang dilakukan...

(online)

dia:: hi dah mandi ??

aku: belom, mampu gosok gigi jer

dia:: anak dara kalau mandi lewat sampai bila2 tak ada orang nak kawin dengan dia

aku: (habis orang kat kutub2 sana yang x mandi sebab sejuk, kawin jek, takde pon x kawin, KURAFAT ke neh) - ada kerja/pelajaran/scandal

dia:: ada bf tapi tak kawin takde makne nyer

aku: (diam) ok NEXT!

----------------------------------

dia:: hai dah bfast

aku: baru celik mata

dia:: tak tolong mak ke, kesian dia sorang2 kat dapo

aku: dia keluar

dia:: pg la masak meggi ke ape ke

aku: dia keluar cari makanan

dia:: awak orang kaya, saya orang miskin kita berbeza, cara hidup pun berbeza -

aku: ?????

dia:: eh awak suka masuk dapur tak?? reti masak Asam Pedas tak

aku: http://www.mesra.net/ (ok TATA??)

------------------------------------------

dia:: hai makan apa pg ni

aku: nak masak Pancake

dia:: reti ke?

aku: yup

dia:: macam mana nak kirim kat saya?? saya nak rasa juga

aku:: pergila berdoa, semoga tuhan tunjuk arah ke kedai makan

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(rumah)

dya:: Sumaaaa, di mana Ais yang ibu beli tadi??

dia:: ini, ini disiniiiii, saya letak di sini tadi, iya iyya
(SAMBIL tunjuk di TEMPAT sayur)

dya:: perhati glazier ais mengalir
(Blah terusssssss)

-----------------------------------

(TADIKA)

teacher:: ok tolong warnakan gambar pokok

dia:: saya tak bawak kaler,

teacher:: pinjam/beli/curi

ps:: lebih baik diam

ennui

2008-12-27T19:20:00.005+08:00

Pt 1

I met someone ONLINE *ah ha* who I guess is fun to get to know to, guy 1 is an Indian who works @ Pos Malaysia, guy 2 is same age with me *only god knows why I chose to chat with him, I usually go for someone much much OLDER and easily know who is JAMES INGRAM and DOLLY PARTON* he told me he is a Pilot, and guy 3 is a Ghanaian who studied @ UM *never in my life, IM still asking WHY*, everything went well with them, I'm ignoring the guy 3, eheh I don't know why, I don't know!!!!!!! gahh!!!!!!!
After a generous goodbye and planning to meet for a 'typical date' with guy 1 and a constantly ignoring Abu the Ghanaian, I went on with guy 2...

Something so cliche, traumatized and unbearably ennui but yet so addictive, I've dated a Pilot before way back when I'm still wearing a school uniform (White and Light Blue) *ah haa* I understand P-I-L-O-T in the consistency of 90/10 ahahha, but this boy *ok hard to be called a MAN* starts talking/blabbing about relationship *obviously with ME* and getting to know me -
less than 3 hrs knowing each other, and minutes on the phone *insufficient credit* -amazingg PILOT eh!!- he said he likes me and willing to get serious *ok OK I still can manage this* but when he said he wanted to asked me TO BE HIS WIFE *I stillll manage to reply* -I slowly start to accept Abu Ghana *I called him Abu Ghana*- at the same time my tummy is churning the whole IDEA of MARRIAGE - ENGAGEMENT- PROPOSAL - ahhhh gahhhh

(I've been in this kind of situation OK, and once I'm drown into this WEDDING PLAN MANIAC thingy, and It was kind of cute at first and head over heels but It won't last *the way U IMAGINE* blahhhh, so I'm good at handling things like this)

Ok so I said -
me:: Since u dead fuck serious, Y don't U come and meet me tomorrow !!

him: Owh soooorrryyy sayang (dear) I have something to do, I have to go to BB PLaza (some mall) to buy somethingggg... some other times ok

me:: Owh OK -was half way chatting with Abu Ghana-

him: tqqqqqqqqqqqq I love uuuuu, I really want u to be my wife, and I really LIKE YOU

me:: aaaaaa I GOT TO GO, I'm about to bath my GOLD FISH (3 a.m)

him: why why, okhhhayy ddddear I want tttoooo sleeepppp

me:: (hit the RED BUTTON on yr upper RIGHT @ YM) tata HISTORY

Pt 2

After a long chat with Abu Ghana, and an endless laughter, HE IS FK FUNNY, just what I needed!! ahah, and he show me his picture ...

him: show me his PIC *framed with hearts and flowers*

me:: U are SCARY

him: u r kidding rite,

me:: seriously U R

him & me :: managed to sort things out, and continue our laughter and whatever more, no no no nothing got to do with the S thingy!! PLSSSSSSSSSS NOOOOOOOO - went on till 4 a.m and sadly I have to say goodbye to Abu Ghana cause I'm about to hit the BUNK
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Woke up 4 hrs later and able to make Double Choc Chocolate Chip Cookies & Sweetcorn Chowder with Nachos and Cheeseee, (sober and able to hit the RECIPE with flying color,EAT ME)

sober and making!!! RED RUM utensils

ku pernah punya cinta, namun kini ku suka kamu, cinta ku dlu telah ku buang jauh,-Jadi sebab itu saya kirimkan sup ini kedepan!!

Esah

2008-12-26T23:15:00.005+08:00

Nenek - my nenek!!! - Esah Mariam Lee Abdullah - kah kah kah

constantly asking me " Eh, where is the guy that you brought home last time? What happen to him?" - "Uh uh, which one? Maybe he is busy" :P
objected the idea of me swinging around, exchanging 'friend'
wish me can be like my other cousin who get stick to her BF the one and no one and be married to him *ROFL*
curious *worrried* about my lifestyle, my work and so on
I'm speechless if I bumped to her If I came back from middle of nowhere
super concern about my eating habit, said too much will lead u to 'nowhere'
agree about me adopting/adoption
partially blind
disagree the idea me wearing tight clothes, butt strutting outfit, she will scare me off by touching my tummy saying IM FAT...ahahha
helpless nenek!
sometimes can be hopeless *most of the time*
I LOVE U NENEK

2008-12-26T22:18:00.004+08:00

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, take out and restaurant food didn't do any good either, I can't bare with the maid's cooking, arghh I'm cooking, I know I hardly cooked without my TEFAL and my other equipment.. but for the sake of my taste bud here I'm COOKING

steamed veges

Tempe, (hot and spicy, with the added flour, mildly crisp)

Black Pepper Chicken Crisp, (home made by ME ok!!) *this recipe taken me to few ON BENDED KNEE proposal ok* ahahah

when I'm out of love - argh relic of the yesteryear!!

Pegaga my heartthrob - nyummy -

kecelakaan

2008-12-26T11:54:00.003+08:00

the scent of melting popcorn still there, lounging in my mouth, smudge of mascara due to the mild down pour while watching Twilight was barely there, burger eaten, I came in and out the room, just to let the smell of him demolish, the hours together, giggling endless touching and pecking each others.... The smell remain still - I'm powerless,

Took my book and went out and do my reading by the pond, flushes of words drenched without even being well sanitized, ah ha just me... I've talk to him, we said goodnight and so on...but still I can't manage to erase him off ~ right after those Good Day Nightmare, someone here for me, *arghhh, I'm in my baju Kelawar* the maid didnt tell me, but that person appeared right close to me, ah ha, "are U working?? it's XMAS aaite" - "No IDEA, its JUST ME, Want to go out??" YES YES YES, I'm there in my baju kelawar hovering all over his manly smell, the crisp of his shirt, his well pressed pants, I'm panting for more!!.. After various of mid night snacking, drive thru and endless tune by James Ingram, we finally at KL yayyy *ah ha I kan orang BUKIT* streaming under the neon light of KL *wahahahha* we talked.. not the serious talk, about life, works, people but NEVER the FUTURE, LOVES and SO ON *mannnnnnnn*....I find that it is interesting to be around him, the way he snatch me off with him after the hell broke to pieces, official meeting and presentation... he steals me away most of the time...

Sometimes its rude when he snatch me off while in ME TIME, reading, thinking bout someone Im into, so disrespectful of him, but his lack of courtesy makes me addicted to him, it's not all about
the way he cupped me in his bear hug
the way he took my hand off, when I saw someone so thinly thinly skinny skinnier than whoever
when he listens to me when all Im telling him was about some other yuppies I'm into.. he listens ..REALLY
when MY baju KELAWAR is worst than my doormat, he is still able to drag me to the public and give me that really big bear hug and sloppy wet kiss, WHY AKU MALU SIOT hah padan la muka
SEX.... no no no
we are not in love, both of us are well clad around our own 'escort' WE are no one,
not his SUV ok!
------------------------------------------
bollocks.. I'm speechless, at times when I'm wrapped in his shirt the next day, in his boxer with a bowl of sugary cornflakes, I asked myself WHY WHY WHY....this is not me...

ardor

2008-12-24T10:38:00.001+08:00

I'm all lathered up in the lush honey-shea butter-macadamia nut oil-mask on my face, I dolloped some cream to my feet and to my elbow before I hit the bed, it's been a while I left all these beauty regime behind~ I get all hyped before I sleep, whoever called me before I sleep get the best of my voice, words and opinion, last night reading was very quick, I can hardly focus on the reading, words and sentences smoked away, and replaced by the thought of meeting him today,

I twinkle on my new shoes, It's been a while that CROCs replaced those feet slashing heels, rocking wedges and even flirty pumps, but today (MERRY XMAS u peeps!!) I'm willing to dash out with heel cladding feet, I turn and twirls in my new shoes, I made a brisk walk along the stretch of houses just to welcome by feet with the new shoes. What makes thing so special???
I'm planning to wear my worn out blue-T, and wide leg jeans, but nahh, that's boring, blahh to late to decide anything ~ I just want to relax, go with the flow, getting ready with the air of James Ingram or Josh Groban, and being seduced by the tune of Andy William, gahhhh this is heaven, my feet are icy cold as I step on the wooden floor, I'm making my way thru a temp. Of happiness...

ps:: The world goes still, so still inside

forlorn

2008-12-23T09:29:00.003+08:00

I've waited for days and nights, each second ticks seems too long for me, I'm super duper fruitless to know that TOMORROW is not XMAS, I blindly thought tomorrow is 25/12, nahh I have to wait another few days till it's XMAS. Urghhh my burning desire is killing me, I'm long to be held and kissed, I 'kept' myself from slipping into the slapdash SEX and KISSES, I'm under control and focus on to my so called DIET, wasn't new maybe, treating myself better!!

When I woke up, I asked one of my ONLINE friend *lazzzyyy* to reassure that tomorrow is XMAS, she got blurred and said NO it's the day after, gahhhh... Words slipped thru my brain, emotion drops unconsciously and words formed, I dried it up to my blog, let it be unclogged... I'm counting days!! I'm peppy but at the same time I'm lethargic, I've planned on what to wear, and planned the best Kodak moment and gesture (I'm typical + Normal) (he will read this, but gahhh who cares?)
Since tomorrow isn't XMAS, I've lost my passionate sense of meeting him and my burning desire is slowly to be tarnished, I'm up for something new, blame me not! It's too long...

ps: Finally I'm missing someone
pss: ............................... (INDESCRIBABLE feeling, sorry)

jejakas

2008-12-22T17:44:00.002+08:00

barang2 semua dah masuk STUDIO, hari ni missed photo shoot sebab bawak D pergi Kinik, dier sakit perut, and kene jaga dia sebab takut Appendiks attack!! *dr yang kata* Lepas suap D makan bubur, aku singgah STUDIO update sikit kerja2 asas~

Petang

Aku terbaca satu blog yang mengatakan si kawan yang tinggal di BUKIT JELUTONG (tak tahu Shah Alam ke mana) mengatakan dia dan jiran2 diganggu MAKHLUK halus, memandangkan aku pon menetap di BUKIT JELUTONG SHAH ALAM *aku rasa kawan dia di BJ SHAH ALAM* (memang gossip BJ BERANTU, dah berleluasa) aku jadi seram, aku keluar dari salah satu bilik daripada lapan bilik dan menjerit cari ADIBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB, biasa dia ada, cari kat bawah, bibik kata ADIB dah naik, jadik aku naik, ADIB tak ada, BABY tunjuk ADIB dengan AFFA kat lua, kat tepi kolam, berkudap KEREPEK BAYAM sambil minum air guna KAKI *dibbbb* aku pon join la si bawah umur bercerita, *cerita HANTU/SERAM la apa lagi, kaut emosi dari atas*

TIBA-TIBA (serius aku TERPERANJAT) bila si Adib pandang tepi dan cakap HOTSTAF HOTSTAF, uik aku ingat HANTU rupanya HOT STUFF, si jiran depan rumah, ala, budak2 yang ala2 INDIE, pakai suar cerut ketat kat kaki, rambut panjang, naik kereta, si AFFA dah bangun berdiri kat belakang tiang *aishh kalau kecik tak apa jugak* - TAPI SEDIH kereta tu dah berlalu

KEJAP LAGI. datang pulak kereta yang di penuhi dengan JEJAKAS, aku berlari laju (SELAMA NEH TAK PERNAH BERLARI!) menyorok belakang TIANG, (ye aku MAKCIKnya!!) owh boleh tahan HOTTTTT, aku jeling2 dan spedo JEJAKAS, arghhh kanak kanak baru MUMAYYIZ, aku pandang DIA, DIA PANDANG AKU *dahhhh time neh dah x menyorok lagi, terang2 aku, dan MEREKA pandang memandang*

ps: selang beberapa hari nanti aku nak mengadakan BBQ PARTY (he he he he he) aku rasa macam nak jemput si JEJAKAS
pss:: hurmmm serious, RUMAH INI dikelilingi oleh MEREKA yang mpunyanyi ANAK HAWT
psss: tapi sayang MEREKA MUDA
pssss: mari ke PARTY KU

hilang kembali!

2008-12-21T23:05:00.001+08:00

ape perasaan kau kalau aku 'hilang' sekali lagi, adakah kau akan cari aku atau pun kau akan diam atauuuuuu kau rindu tanpa mencari, sampailah sangap baru cari... BEGITUkah????

terbabas!!!!

2008-12-21T22:50:00.002+08:00

ingin seperti semalam makan 1 kali jek sehari, malam makan karipap 1 (guilty pleasure)... Tapi hari ini tghari dah elok x makan, sampai jek Subang Parade, ade orang tersuap aku nasi lemak, tersuap bubur sikit, beberapa sudu OK lagi latuhh... sampai balik rumah aku terserempak dengan hidangan ubi rebus dan sambal kicap, yang aku idam idam kan selama beberapa hari sudah!!!..
Aku dengan membuta tuli terus melapah ubi rebus sedia dengan menokok tambah cicahan iaitu MAPLE SYRUP dari CANADA, hebak hebak TIMUR BARAT bertembung di dalam perut...
Aku pun selepas makan, makan lah cokelat yang dalam dia ada COOKIES, PEANUT BUTTER dan selepas itu aku mengerang kerana kesal dengan sikap sambil lewa, arghhhh hanya beberapa hari lagi ke Hari Natal.... aku harus meneruskan misi berDIET aku, esOk aku nekad untuk MAKAN BUAH BUAHAN 90% - 10% BENDA LAIN .... demi HARI NATAL

ps: weh SAYA bersungguh neh, nak KELUAR!!
pss: biar la CIRIT BIRIT
psss: PEREMPUAN!!!
pssss: nasib baik tak sambung DONAT cicah SAMBAL

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

mungkin~

2008-12-21T13:13:00.003+08:00

after so long being on and off together at last we sleep together, kiss and make up, we make plans but haven't hit the S word yet...

I thought I should have let it be like that, just let it slip away silently, our last was the best, if I make up I'm scared it'll end badly, but long after that I received a memo saying that U missed me and SUMPAH u miss me, I didn't buy any junk cause I'm drenched wet with errands and such. But I give peace a chance and try to get back on track, I believe we tried our best to kiss and make up, and I seriously feel good about it, all of 'us' here are happy due to our 'comeback' they missed him!!.. I guess I'm trying my very best, apart of swinging around I tried to focus on to this... :))

ps:: saya rela jatuh ke tangan dia kembali

pss:: inspirasi Rita dan Pemain Bola Sepak, Linda J dan Q

psss:: menunggu Hari Natal!!

pssss:: proses BERDIET

psssss:: maaf kalau terlalu cranky, grouchy

kami main kenduri2 kawin, "Barbie pakai skarf nenek, singlet kakak, crown pakai cincin mama, Ken takde baju jadi kami tukar jadi Hawaiian wedding ok Aunty" -Adibb- "Ok jek, Aunty jadik photographer jer" -Aku-

ps:: bila 2 beranak tak mandi dan bercuti

pss:: Adibb, kecil!!

psss:: bila internet buat hal

pssss:: Inspirasi Mawi Ikin, *gahhhhhhh*

3 pagi

2008-12-21T03:18:00.002+08:00

aku tak boleh tido, aku terima panggilan dari sapa ntah yang aku sendiri pon was2 dan tak kenal, dia cakap nak cakap ngan aku, so aku pon kata INILAH AKU, so dia kata nak berbual lucah *eheh* aku kata OK,

dia:: Hi boleh nak bercakap dengan AKU
aku:: ye ini aku
dia:: jom chat lucah ..
aku:: ok jom laa
dia:: kejap eh
----- selang beberapa saat ----
dia:: ARGH HU ARGH HU ARGH HU ARGH HU ARGH HU ARGH
aku:: *TERKEJUT* eh kenapa neh sakit ke, sesak nafas ke, ok ke awak neh???
dia:: takde la saya stim
aku:: SNORT gelakkkk ala vavi
dia:: eh kejap eh, ada orang datang (LETAK TEPON TERUS)

ps: SUMPAH dia bunyik macam orang sesak nafas!!! AKU tak tipuuu
pss:: LAWAK laaa SEJARAH baru!!!
psss:: aduhhssss..... *INSAF*
pssss:: baru berlaku 5 min yang lalu *segar daru ketuhar*

gahhhh

2008-12-19T18:53:00.005+08:00

i have to bring Adib to meet her dentist, reason: to mend the snapped wire on her braces, the appointment is at 11am, suddenly it changed to 2pm or 5 pm, so we dashed to Sunway Pyramid to kill the time, we watched movie, there were only 6 peeps in the theatre, inclusive me and Adib, we chose the mid-section where I personally thought the view is better though sharing arm rest is suppose not to be an issue, I'm kind of mad because during the show Adib constantly buried her face on to my arm and keeps on rhyming, because she is too scared plus the kiddos infront of us moved to the back row, before the 1 scene started, gahhh.. It's cool though is a horror movie ahahah, I can't do too much review on this film because I've promised to watch with him, but inilah namanya takdir!!!! Soon after the movie ended we make our move to the dentist, OMFG as we arrived the dr told us to sit and wait because she is about to leave for lunch, we were stuck in the clinic, when the nurses came and join us, the nurse who came to us is such a chatterbox, she keep talking about our Aunt. Annie (Annie?? Anne??) pretzel, I guess she want some of our pretzel but I strongly said it's Adib.
She can be so annoying, she kept telling me that I need a set of braces (serious I don't need any!!) and I can get discount because me and Adib = family.. gahhh, Adib told me not to worry because she told everyone who accompanied Adib that they need to wear braces too!!

As we finished our appointment, (this is where it started) Adib is hungry and I suggested we went to the nearest Mc D, no no no miliminute after that I badly suggested we opt for Shisha at SP, and Adib start to say a big YESSS!! and food wasn't her prior any longer!! ahah than I felt bad, because she is only 13 going 14 and haven't had any exposure with ciggies and Sisha though her dad is a heavy smoker, but WE *me esp* know that the promotion about Sisha heard by Adib told by her friends is way greater than anything. Lately Adib kept telling me about wants to do Sisha and going out for Sisha and it's seems Sisha is the 'IT' thing for her, seems like everyone on the net (MYSPACE) got their pic taken while doing Sisha!! I guess it's the closest thing to SMOKING!! Adibbbbbbbbb!!
OK, we went again to SP and do Sisha!! I'm nervous because Adib is an underage and this is her 1st time, worst, people always (say it 10 times or more pls) thought that I'm UNDERAGE/ 16, 17 years old, ahahah it can be a compliment, but seriously it's SCARY ~

our table is next to this table that is occupied by underage or almost 18, boys (camouflage2)

everyone kept staring at Adib, since she is the one with the pipe all the time

I manage to do Sisha OK!!!

It's the hype of holding the pipe and blowing SMOKE is all ADIB wants,

she spend all her time *with the pipe* snapping pictures, while exhaling the smoke, sucking pipe, holding pipe

reminds me when I got my 1st hp with camera

dare to say that she is willing to upload he latest SISHA PIC on her MYSPACE

she didn't inhale though *guilty pleasure yaaa*

she is thrilled when she saw me SISHA and inhaling and exhaling ahahahah wasn't my 1st ok dahhlingg

yes I manage to xchange HI/HELLO with the boys next to us!! REMEMBER I'm a Teenagers too *ROLF* ahahahah

I let Adib with the Sisha, let her 'play' with the parts, let her takes picture as much as she wants, *its pricey okkk, but for my Adib, I'll do anything*

just to embraced her self esteem ahahahahha

just for Adib to realise Sisha isn't as cool as the promotion heard,

if others can U can too Adib, but there is always time and ways of doing it,

ps: Adib is my niece

pss: I felt bad OK!!

ADIBBBB -cantik- takut datuk bau ehh....

mess

2008-12-17T20:01:00.004+08:00

this moment is where drug is needed, I hardly control myself, the only thing I'm capable doing right now is mildly drugging myself and writing, this is the only ways how I can control myself now, Its Maghrib, and its a good time to fight and I'm shivering, teeth gritting and fingers clacking just to control my anger, too many danger's around me, too many things that made me hurt myself, I can easily hurt myself even with this strip of Panadol. What happen, I'm not usually like this, why? Is there anything I've been hiding ever since, that makes me out of my mind, rage is blobbing, I plop down 3 tablets of whatever pills, I can't remember, my legs are cold, and my nose is flushing liquids -
I'm chatting currently, maybe this is also part of anger-theraphy that I'm trying on, if I let myself loose not doing anything I can just do-me-bad in any time, yes Im concious at this moment of time, should I call him, or IM him just to say hi, urgh maybe this is a bad time, scared I'll barf out the impossibilities at him, this is a mess, I'm clueless....

Freedom That Gone~

2008-12-17T14:35:00.005+08:00

is that hard not butt off from me?? Is it painful when no one upgrade themselves with bucket full of info about me?? Do you religiously need to ask everyone around about my job? my activity? who I'm dating? Why why why??? I'm no one, does my failure spice up your life or does my success is your problem??, does everything about me have to be perfect?
When I said I don't have any driving licence, does that make your evening better? I didn't live under your shelter, I don't hang around with U, no no no I choose my life to be like this, so what if I'm a kindergarten teacher that only earn more than I should, so what?? This is my life, this is my freedom, this is passion, why why?? is it a joke if I'm not a full time Int. Architect... At least I'm not jobless and I got my job by myself not someone who knew my parent, though I can do that in a snap...
People this is FREEDOM, this is LIFE this is what I enjoy doing, UNTIL when??? until forever if I want to, I spend and live the way I'm afforded, it's cool..
Don't bother who I'm dating with, that's my friend... that is MINE, best is MY CHOICE, if he is someone live in a shabby torn shack, who cares, if he got pimple with studded all around his face NO NO NO don't u freaking CARE, it's out of my control if I'M DATING someone can afford to buy me diamond and pearls monthly..so what! This is me, I do whatever that I'm pleased to do.. Even its an eyesore for U, but for me is OK, bug off if U saw me playing hide and seek or play pretend with my nieces, they are mine! and it's fun... and if U happen to know that SEX is my part of my passion, don't u care too!!
If u really care or really wants to butt in, simply ask how am I doing, that's more than BETTER!!..

ps:: doesn't mean u r entitle to be my RELATIVE u can, relatively interfere in my LIFE
pss: If I know what is SEX, U don't have to bother getting your nose into my LIFE and try to talk about it to me
psss: If U live in a boring life, doesn't mean everyone have too~ SIMPLE as that!
pssss: NO, I'm not angry,
psssss: I'm annoyed

~feel free~

2008-12-15T23:20:00.004+08:00

it's our brand new member its a 'Lobster'?? Its odd to call Udang or Prawn. makes all nyummy

p/s :: My niece really look likes she's out from jungle:: LOVE U D!!

pss:: feel free to suggest any names for our LOBSTER

Layhhzeee

2008-12-15T22:55:00.007+08:00

They had fun, ME too *cleaning* huh? We used arm rest + tissue + plastic beg as PLATE-- we are DIRTY...

It's raining *cat and dog* and since we got nothing to do and someone is craving for Spinach Dip so we went to do some minor grocery at Tesco, after touring Tesco for Spinach Dip's we opt for Teh Tarik and Roti Tisu but everyone is darn lazyyhhhzeee to go out, and my youngest niece is with us, so we make the mamak deliver to our car (just like @ A n W Pj!!!) and we ordered Roti Tisu, and it came but not the NORMAL one but its 3 ft 9 inch tall (swear tuhan dehh, gwe ngobrol bener!!) We are stunned till we forgot to open the door and make the Anneyh sent thru our WINDOW, wahh with the height and the mildly crisp, it took the whole length of car *almost* took 3 underage to control the interior traffic and 2 adults to watch the miraculously Roti Tisu, everyone was looking ehehe I managed to cover my face... The fact that WE are LAZY...

anak beranak

2008-12-13T15:12:00.002+08:00

by Aunt and Niece - while we were discussing about LOVE-SEX-BOYS our hands are occupied doodling arts

Gering????

2008-12-13T06:33:00.004+08:00

I'm sick - I'm not hypochondriac nor physically ill, but I guess I'm mentally shaken, since I've moved in this xs room in this 8-roomed-5baths-house, this is the given room for me, where I sleep, write, read, change and :)) eheheh the room captured the best scenic compare to my studio sized bedroom, and accompany with the serenading sound from the man made waterfall - but
I'm sick, life wasn't that promising here, about from the multi wall cladding super sized flat screens that can be transformed to become a mattress ehehe it's huge !! The bed is way too smaller than average for me *I think its a day bed* the pillow and EVERYTHING wasn't just right for me, my desktop is not around, I can't survive on this Vaio-chic-rubyred-intelcentrino-yadayadayada, hell yeah I can survive on this lap if I were only to do Myspace and Mp3, the keyboard is not comfy enough for me to do my write up even CYBERSEX was not comforting! Life has change ever since, worst when I doesn't have the access to my channel 733, I miss Jon and Kate and their family!! ouch It's sould bearing life I've been thru ::: I'm flexible at some point but this is way too long for me that its affecting my health and I'm affected, there are some bad reaction that happen to me :::

Crankier
Moody
Hyperactive / passive
Excessive reading
Excessive sleeping
Oily hair
rimmed long grown finger nail
imbalanced diet
Influenza
lack of fruits n veggies
too much sex
insufficient sex
easily menyampah
constipation
purging
HEART BURN
Insomnia *too much eh??*
Snacking - late night
Bad eating habit (Mc Dono, Mamak, Nandos) owh dearrr
minor acne
hallucinating about xes/food/man
short tempered *kesian kesian SORRY u GUYS*
easily heard me saying SANGAP/NAK BALIK NAK BALIK
listening to ONE song repeatedly
craving badly for TRASHY PORN esp JAP's PORN - I hardly do PORN since the KIDS around I don't want to be the BAD 'NANNY'-
this house is equipped with CCTV so I hardly scratch myself when is needed
I miss my neighbors, the haunted house next door, those hustle and bustle, buses, cars, I missed the sound of people honking at each other, the cluttering town planning of my gated community house....
here, there are plenty of exercising area/places I'm stressed to know that I'm barely well used the facilities
everyone here is overly well dresses, the makcik with the diamond studded ring, not less than LV, the young ones in their Quicksilver's/Topshop, and the little ones at least with CROCS arghh I miss my life when everything is so free, i don't have to put on my wide leg or even don't bother to put on EFFORT to go out
too many typos too many spelling error
lack of expression
too much crapping
depression
fashionably challenged
cursing
rude
too emotional
unemotional
mal-vitamin :)))
start using web cam
influencing my nieces to start chatting/web cam *sexually misguiding* eheh
easily influenced by my niece, hogging on the phone, late nite surfing, sleeping at odd hrs
it's been a while I didn't practice 'I LOVE YOU'
been using FUCK/FUCKED excessively
I'm losing myself
I'm scarring man off *padan la muka*
makes someone cried excessively *MAN MAN MAN*
I'm sick
Self help needed
I miss MYSELF

----------------------------------------

ps: I'm not somewhere called AMAZON/ JUNGLE/ IRAQ

pss: I'm not one of the LANDSLIDE'S VICTIM *aminnnn*

psss: I'm ME

pssss: Writer's block, SUMPAH scary!!!

sepanjang hidupku ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

2008-12-10T10:24:00.004+08:00

U:::: i suka baca hasil penulisan u
so lovely and adorable, u selalu buat pasal cite apa
I::::: Tq, true story
U:::: erm...nanti i baca u punya story k
I::::: it meant no to be read
U:::: Y???
I:::: let it be just like that
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ps::: it was there best just like that even b4 U
pss:: no one read about this, and one know it is best to be admired from far, just like 'her'

didn't u ???

2008-12-09T23:43:00.002+08:00

recognize me,?? remember me::: Im the one :

In my black cardigan, blue T, wide leg jeans, overly accessorized Crocs
feeding porridge to the youngest girl among others
I was the one with the stroller, others clad around my waist, telling me how much they love me and no one to be compared too,keep on calling my name as attention is always needed..this and that is never apart
yes yes yes I was the one who distribute orders and differentiate those spicy and non-mayo to them while exchanging hello on my pinkie Iphone
no it's not your fault to play 'Guess Who' and one of the card is ME ME ME : the young looking mother with 4 children. Amazing ahhh !! I thought so too
I will never wrap myself behind those big baggy outfit or hide myself behind those big pillars with signboard hang to it just to camouflage the idea young-children ahahah I'm proud to accessorized myself with this bunch of 'annoying' 'brat' - they are part of me
no u'll never notice me when I'm with this wheel chair bounded nenek, explaining to her I'm around nenek! no no no I'm not buying those but I'm having this perhaps :)))
silly U to silly me when U know I'm with my mom doing the grocery, yes she is my mum and I owe her more than the bills and boxes of bag - I wanted to let go and be clad around hand twisted,waist hugging with the man I'm hungered for but sometimes I failed when I remember she is the one who hand held me when the drugs had taken over me, and when I realised men wasn't my everything and desire is yet to be controlled (I sounded bad eh)
I agree last weekend when U called, the 'Shall we go for a dance' was laid off because I'm too tired juggling house chores and domestic errands (3 silly maids who can't differentiate between Hand Wash and Machine Wash is bad enough, I work hard for my FCUK's and those Marc Jacob's need to be dust free duhhhh) I'm sorry to U and to my newly bought LBD for not able to strut them in the plastic-neon-disco-lighting and It wasn't your hip that slip through the slit of my LBD when James Ingram serenade the room.. Sorry sorry
is baju Kelawar consider sexy to U???, those night when I'm too tired to do my suspender belt, my bustier is too uncomfortable due to the snacking done by the girls and me, I felt bad to explain yet still able to tell U ''Under this KELAWAR, is NOTHING, U tahu tak''- ever thought of that???
yessss I'm the one next to U when you only left Rm1 while u dated me....the idea of meeting me is just enough for U
U U U U U, remember when we sang together, those lovely 'JUST ONCE'?? every evening before those table are shaken with our endless vibration...
U hate me aren't U? because it wasn't the :: BEST SANGAT , instead ::OK, CAN BE IMPROVED eheheheh sorry wasn't that adventurous and why not 3some ahahah...
I miss U, not wishing u around but I miss U, the fact that I can call U up when u @ mamak and say "Can U come home I'm hungry for U" - no there was no feeding-each-other scene to be publicized but U remember while we are all out for seafood, I did touched U under the table.. ahhaah my bad sorry...

p.s::pointless
pss:seriously though u've gone, the 'rough rider' of U still in my memory,It's raw isn't it when it was a full blown up till my tummy hurt, can't imagine in front of the door ~ 'nyummy golden rain'
psss:i'm not always like this (ye la tuhhhhhhhhhhh)
psss:Maria Ozawa was 'invited' too ahahahah
pssss:ask me again and I'll answer U.....

~mamak I Love You~

2008-12-08T11:05:00.005+08:00

just finished Raya Prayer, hit off to mamak for Roti Canai Telur, and I did say Selamat Hari Raya to all the Mamakians, no no no no this children is not motherless, the mother ordered Nasik Dagang/Minyak for Hari Raya, but they choose to enjoy the Raya with Mamak food, and hell ya it was enjoying since everyone dressed up and family-gathered at the restaurant, festively enjoying their morning canai and such with the other's ah haaaaaaa Shah Alam, SELAMAT HARI RAYA.. no I'm about to continue my sleep, I barely open my eyes (due to the late nite's hangover with Affendy,exchanging sexual thought on the raya eve, doesn't hurt though) during the raya khutbah (with the AC and the downpour)
I was awaken with my niece's laughter due to the shrieking Pak Imam's voice when he recites takbir raya.. It was hilarious he sounds like he choked on himself ROLF!!!...
I will sleep and become very ego-maniac, potato couch, and will eat constantly and moderately today!!!..I will read and sleep and eat and chat and do nothing, I choose not to mix and mingle with my relatives, they are here recently and obviously their BAD ATTITUDE RELIGIOUSLY TAG ALONG them.. ah ha shall not waste my time to be polite or giving my honesty towards their ear-tearing comment about the idea of me being happily swinging and the irrelevant of me being a teacher when I deserved to be an INTERIOR ARCHITECT, carrying A0's under my armpit hahahah pssfftttt (I don't want to sadden them up with my OK-YES-TQ-ONLY answer right!, its polite yet mind eating answer,) I'm not in the mood to argue, sorry dearies cousins I don't discuss about my own ass-smacking-lifestyle on hari raya, come onnnnn it's RAYA!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
ps::honesly the ORANG MINYAK movie does turn me ON- The satan's tanduk (horn) remind me of ingrown PENIS...
pss::seriously BOOK and BED are needed NOW NOW NOW....
psss::the boys @ Masjid was extremely INVITING with their kain pelekat-pin striped Baju Melayu arrrrrrrr let's do it in the attic!!

read this!!

2008-12-08T07:31:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIHADHA

I should butt strutting myself at the bfast bar, lined the kids and shove the food around instead of butt mounted myself blogging, ahh why not? It's raya and everyone is getting ready for semayang raya....The kids are not going to starve trust me because yesterday I well-fed them with Swensen's with the bake rice and spaghetti and all the Big Apple's I guess they can stand on an empty tummy untill the Hajj season ended *hurmmm* Ok let's get back to it, wishing u ols SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA.....

p/s:: apart from 'others' who are well cling their branded Tote around. I'm happily with mine to its written and travel as far as HARVARD *seriousssssss*
pss::proud of carrying one without even a cents needed to be there... *Tq to my mum* :PPP eat my wordddddddddddd U better do!!!!! weehuuuuuuuuuuu

what more can I say...

2008-12-07T23:58:00.003+08:00

(U)

'I'll pretend like we never know each other',
'I'll stop disturbing U',
' i will always pray for u... may Allah bless u... and may he bring u prince charming','now i know where do we stand at..... a guy like me can never be with a girl like u'
he's more important rite?
owh yea... kawan.... hmmmnn.... even me u didnt sms.... u can sms ******...

(Me)

ok
thank you

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1-5, thought only girls or 'pussies' recite all those phrases, I didn't remember any guys would ever said that, Hellooooo 1980's is calling U, and it's asking for your old-ill-treating attitude back, wohooo it's so yesterday. What happen to the I-know-he-is-only-your-friend attitude that I'm once lacking off *I have pussy* should U the one should be saying that instead of me saying HE IS JUST MY FRIEND!!! are u jlus?? nahhhhh I DONT THINK SO... but I think U R! or I pissed U off rite because with all I'm answering is OK and Thank You, eheheh 'what more can I say??

p/s:::when did I know U??? Yesterday rite??? I didn't asked U to mothered me!
pss::see why I texted your friend, because U r turning to be some MOMZILLA, instead of someone sweet and lovable that I'm interested to..
pss/s:aku terpedaya dengan muka jambu!!
psss/s:doen't means that U do pedicure and manicure just like US, U can act like one of us
pssss/s:off U go.. Next pls!!!!

Am I???

2008-12-07T13:51:00.002+08:00

turning into a boy, or am I growing penis here, or is he turning into a GIRL??...why eh?? because
I ripped out someone's virginity, I held his hand, I called him sayang, we talked (he called), we went out and smile and snap pic ... and at the end I said, this isn't working out for us, maybe we should stop and think back what have we done to 'ourself' owh yeahhhhhhhhh --- and I've started all over again,

ps:: 100th post!!! weehee wee hoooo

through these crazy times:::

2008-12-07T13:33:00.003+08:00

where ChicSu and Enie is needed most of the times~ (I'm blurred and I'm clueless)
I talk about this with my buddies and even my mum all the times, eh what happen when U know that someone that is lovely-lovable and suddenly ~ ok I'm too silly too discuss this on board..it's about his *nahh not ex's* it's bigger than that...

p/s:::Awhhhh so sad, maybe I need to let this train off, for a less than perfect train
pss:::eheheh it's funny this SATUMALAMBERDIRI turns out very stressful and scary!!!
psss:I bet Madonna faces the same issue as me too
pssss:Will update this soon, lemme find the right words to post 1st (tricky)
--------------

if u think-

2008-12-05T01:32:00.003+08:00

he makes the perfect bf, u are wrong he is not!!!
if u feel we are a cute partner-to-be nahh doesn't work that way...
if u think he is matured enough to make decision, well maybe yes mostly no
he is interested because I can do head job and hand job * and that is what he is lacking of*
since his virginity is raped by ME *as he wish* and since I'm in the mood of ripping up, and this man-eating creature is craving for some xpanding hot dog, why not! it's been a long time I had not taste something so raw and bla bla bla ....so lets get back to it..
as dates and call and whatever that bond-able for us, and friends and family members address us for a 'cute couple' 'best friends' 'soul mate' heh TAIK MU!!! none is close, he might be the best looking chaps I've dated for this month but wasn't the 'IT' one for this friendship/relationship. Well well well we've tried our hardest to please our cock's and pussy's but it almost down the drain, maybe maturity is the leakage factor or maybe we wasn't 'click' enough to make up the do's and don't.
Well off 'U' go sunny!! I'm not the kind of person who shout and scream whenever things doesn't stand up the way I wanted to, Im more to - ok bye NEXT, pls!!!
I'm hunting, yes I'm....eheheheheh

i thinkkkk

2008-12-01T12:11:00.002+08:00

it's hard when people are attracted to u based on yr body part (ahahah) boobs, hand, butt, nose, eyes and so much more, when u can kiss better, when u can do the hand job, when u have the talent to 'pop' when do the head job ahahah, those can be the main reason why people choose to date u... arghhh it wasnt the all-I-want-thing-y all the time, sometimes its a good way to boost my self-esteem, bla bla bla but if its too often its becoming an annoyance, its irritate me it becoming an allergy to me, when someone will effortlessly drive all the way from tuhan je tahu ceruk mana just to meet me, and at the end of the day its my boob its the final destination.. urgh whats the point.. ok ok ok im taking the advantage to since my driver resigned i do need a free ride too to buy my fav book, to go to my fav eating spot- it's free + someone will be next to you holding yr hand...... kissing and bla bla bla at the end of the day its all seems so fake and fucktard ..

p.s - keep hunting ahahahaha

aku rasakan..

2008-12-01T12:01:00.002+08:00

ader something fishy that is happening currently! he he he, very2 suspicious, am I about to burst the bubble? pop the balloon? Macam ada satu kekantoian yang amat hebat spt 'BIG BANG' he he he aku suka neh ala ala thriller....

p/s:: nanti aku hapdet lagi - kita saksikan (kalau ada laaaa)

woahhhh~

2008-11-30T17:37:00.002+08:00

aku macam puas jek, puas benar main bas stesen bas stesen, sama ada aku biarkan bas stesen jadik kosong atau aku tutup terus stesen bas, semua bas akan terkezut dengan tindakan drastik neh, hurmm malam neh aku pikirkan, kalau perlu aku tutup stesen bas, dan beralih bukak airport dimana hanya penerbangan luar negara sahaja yang boleh setop penerbangan domestik yang mana larat berenti di airport aku jek aku 'jenguk' ..... (bermakna neh bermakkknerrr double meaning post nehhh) aku cuti panjang neh banyak pulak idea-idea nehh....ader jek bendek baru nak dibukak *ngeeeeee*
nyampah pulak aku ehh dengan drebar2 bas yang tak mengenang hati pengusaha stesen bas cam haku neh, ader drebar bas yang jenis bawak bas tadek pintu, ada bawak bas sewa tp masih aku terima di stesen bas aku, ade pulakkk yang bawah umo bawak bas! aishhh seriauuu pulak aku ader bas hantu eheheheh tapi aku terimaaaaaaaaaaa jekk, ader badan bas yang macam kene panau/kawah bulan aku terimaaaaa jek tadek pon suruh gi ke stesen bas lain... aisehhh cam mana kalau aku tutup stesen bas???

p/s- mungkin aku kene cuba walau utk beberapa hari!!! (bukak cawangan stesen bas lain/bukak airport)

untuk kau, (I'm being nice!)

2008-11-30T01:10:00.003+08:00

wes, haku mintak maaf!!!

p/s: 1 a.m dengan bantuan anak2 buah!! (messsraaaaaaaaaa)

im sad too~

2008-11-28T20:28:00.001+08:00

im sad when my niece hug her sisters and cry when their parent left for hajj Im saddd, (is it, because I cried) yer la tuh

~suddenly~

2008-11-25T00:51:00.006+08:00

hard to x-plain!

Eheheh, hard to explain, kenal pon x sengaja, jumpa pon tergesa-gesa, aku nak pergi cari buku dekat MPH Midvalley, sibok nak amik shorcut dari avoiding traffic jam, last2 end up kat Jalan Kuching *sigh* pusing2 sampai ke KLCC, dari MidValley - KLCC, KLCC makan di Sunway Pyramid. Ehehe nak shortcut jadi longcut, but we had tons of fun! ngeeee walaupun aku yangggg *biasalaaa*

MACHO nuffsaid

2008-11-24T23:53:00.005+08:00

Whoever love to play 'Bus Station' 'Stesen Bas' should really appreciate/understand or best to MEMORIZE this for a healthier lifestyle or a better fortune woohooo!!

credit to Lisya, she is the one who found out bout this clip!

my new macho-icon-of-the-week! (I swear I have a doll an African American doll that looks like her!!*scary* isn't it) Nur Izzah Athirah ahahah love u!!!

p/s: Athirah: Malam2 mak kita suruh makan 'soses' jer atau roti, sbb nanti makan nasik jadik gomok (inspiring doeeeeehh!!) macho macho and what are U?? 6 yrs old! talking about weight issue!..when you are 18 u gonna be the next Sophie Dahl *trust me* or Monica Belluci!

m loving it....

2008-11-21T21:26:00.000+08:00

I'm running~

2008-11-19T19:54:00.001+08:00

out of reason why shouldn't we make love, a very raw one...urghh I really need this sloppy wet succulence kiss.. owh god, I'm just a human!

u know what??

2008-11-18T18:00:00.002+08:00

after all this tiresome eyes watching people hooking up, whoring about getting/married after all good wishes and pressie are all given out all I want to right now is.. me in my baju kurung, and U in your full suit working attire, wait for me no no no don't have to be chauffeured just us, lets us says LRT, U in Bank Negara I'm here in Shah Alam lets meet up in the perk of heavy duty smelly stinky KL Central, lemme rip everything on u lemme do you in whatever style we cherished, pumping out every energy U and me beholding for sometimes now, U always admire me from far It's you I'm willing to hold and caresses endlessly, no matter what it's you in your white crisp shirt all I'm praying for! do it with the curtain off, in front of the full length mirrored wall, padded wall where no one hardly listen to us moaning our hunger for sex?? love??? your projet hot dog?? ah haa.. you are my hunger pain, spank me up do me do, blind folded and rescue me to the loo...
I'm almost full but never finished.. u r so yummy looking at you while waiting my ride in the hospital alley today...

CYA....

a he he hu hu of me

2008-11-17T20:46:00.004+08:00

My Result for What Kind Of A Lover Are You? quiz is You are a PRACTICAL Lover

You are a good lover, but you know when to draw the line. You might be reluctant in displaying your emotions in public, but that doesn’t mean there is any love lost. You just do not like making a public display of your affections.

Kika Iszanin's Answers to Survey Who, What, When, Why, How

1 - Who is your best friend? my mum (the safest answer)
2 - Who do you like? urghhh..used to be Dr.Amin/TMJ/that TopMan salesman/Tengku Yaacob- current obsession that School Van Driver
3 - Who is your mom? K.K by Initial,
4 - Who owns your house? mum/me
5 - Who bought you the clothes your wearing? myself/mum/friends/aunty
6 - Who is at your house? mum/dad/nenek/my maid Sukaryah
7 - Who loves you? owh my children(students)/parent/my bro/nieces/friends/bfs/gfs/my pet (Ramli and Pat)
8 - Who said hey to you today? Teacher Su,
9 - Who are you talking to right now? my mum and dad
10 - Who was your ex-boy/girlfriend? ehehehe Nazri (will always be)/Rizan/AB/Nin/Zamwi/Amri/Faizal/Tahir/Sam/Irshad/Jeffi/Eric/still counting
11 - What town do you live in? Shah Alam
12 - What are your pet peeves? nahh
13 - What are you wearing? night gown
14 - What do your teeth look like? white + yellow + green
15 - What are you doing in an hour? chatting/you tube/watching Chef at Home/spiking me up with awfulllll JAMU
16 - What is your middle name? Lazy
17 - What is your deepest secret? I'm bisexual (Lindsay Lohan woohooo I'm part of youuu) :P
18 - What are you doing tomorrow? working/flirting
19 - What is your boy/girlfriends middle name? which one??
20 - What is in this for you? what?
21 - What is your favorite thing(s) to do? eat/sleep/chat/google/oggling on men and women
22 - What are you sitting on? chair
23 - Where are you at right now? in my room
24 - Where were you at at 12 noon today? kindergarten
25 - Where is your toothbrush at? in the bathroom
26 - Where do you sleep? on a platform bed
27 - Where do you live? currently KL-Shah Alam
28 - Where were you at at 7pm yesterday? in my room, Shah Alam
29 - Where is your boy/girl friend? doing nothing thinking about me/counting days to meet me/writing my name all over the wall/posting up my pic in every interior/exterior surfaces/view me on myspace while masturbating ahahaha *I lied*
30 - Where are your parents? i don't know
31 - Where did you put your bookbag? under the table
32 - Where do you keep your socks? in the shoe cabinet!!!
33 - When was your first kiss? awwww form 2 I guess yeah yeah yeah 14 yrs old woohoooooooooo
34 - When are you getting a job? early of 08
35 - When will you grow up? never! sometimes when I'm feeling too fat/too lonely/too horny?? ahahha
36 - When are you going to call your friend? later
37 - When did you get home last night? around late evening
38 - When did you graduate? 2005 and 2008
39 - When are you going to stop taking surveys? never
40 - When was the last time you had a fruit smoothie? last Sunday
41 - When are you getting married? eheheheheheheh don;t ask, it's a hard Q! I'm not planning to be someone wife, unless it's Nazri Ahmad aahahha (dream on) nahhh I'm not planning ..I seriously don't know let go with the flow shall we *ahahha* :P
42 - Why are you taking this? boredom
43 - Why are you weird? who said so
44 - Why are you wearing what your wearing right now? high comfort level
45 - Why dont you have friends? cause I'm dumb and selfish
46 - Why cant you get a boy/girl friend? cause easily bored them up or I easily get bored with them-- ah haa actually cause I'm ugly
47 - Why do you live where your at? this is only where I can afford
48 - How do you fix your hair? by not touching them ahahha
49 - How are the kids? 'kids' are superbbbbbbbbbbbb
50 - How many hours do you spend on the computer? 4 or more
51 - How many TV shows do you watch? less than 5
52 - How did you find this survey? i Yahoo them
53 - How do you make sharpies? ?????????
54 - How many sharpies do you own? hundreds
55 - How often do you say I love you? dailyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy guyssssssssssss I LOVE YOU, gud sex LOVE YOU, I love u dear cashier, love you love you, sometimes -Why can't I Love You/The reason I didn't love you,..keh keh keh keh

Im practicing

2008-11-16T09:59:00.001+08:00

on this!

New Shoes
Hey honey
Cat got your tongue
Don't look so funny
This took comedian
Joke's on you
And you're good at bed
So where's my money
I know you're bad
And I would never make that move

So why's the house empty
Light's off by the end of this week
I'll leave with what I came with baby
I'll take jaws** you'll take the mercedes

Cause I'm gone I'm not staying
I walked these roads with grace
And I'll wave with you behind me
With a new smile on my face
Cause I'm walking in new shoes now
I got a new song to sing
When I walk in the room every head turns
Every eye is on me
To bad you're not here to see it
And by the time you get this
I was so long gone and far
I'll send you a postcard
Aha I'll send you a postcard

Hey baby
You seem to ghost this ain't yo lady
This is the chick that you held back now
Now all of the things you've said were crazy
I checked out my list and I feel good about it
I got the new haircut
The one that you said that wouldn't look no good
Took that job you said I could not get
Wore that dress you said I'd never fit

Cause you're gone and I'm great
I got rid of your dead way
And I'll wave at you behind me
With a new smile on my face
Cause I'm walking in new shoes now
I got a new song to sing
When I walk in the room every head turns
Every eye is on me
To bad you're not here to see it
And by the time you get this
I was so long gone and far
I'll send you a postcard

The day u went away..

2008-11-16T06:31:00.007+08:00

Trust me it's super suck, even to know that the fact that u will be leaving in weeks/months/day~
I just want to seconds/minutes with you, just to gather the best of you to be kept forever.
Why do everyone that I love/care leave me, such as my 13 yrs old family maid, been working for so long have to be sent back (personal issue) and now (few days past) our years of family driver (Pakcik) went for good as he will be performing Hajj in quite a length of time and chose to stay at his kampung to be a farmer.. (ok la tuh pakcikk!)
The most uncontrollable lost is my bundle of joy my best 6yrs old children (students) that I personally met them and sent them away for their kiddies convocation, (always a mum never a wife??*sigh*) my pain killers has gone away.. swear I will always remember U and always love u!!!

facts

The day pakcik went off for good I wanted to cry but I'm kind of busy thinking about my ribbon left in the shop @ Shah Alam (being thinking how may I transport it back here, since I'm in KL, u know KL-SHAH ALAM)
Pakcik cried as he salam my gramma...
Pakcik, swear I truly missed u as much as I miss kak kas (x-maid)
I cried almost like mad when Hisham's father (actually everyone who came to me i CRIED) sent him to me to say goodbye and would love to snap some photo together (YES I CRIED in front of the DJ who is in charge of the PA system)
I've made a mess infront of my students and their parents and to the public too
I didn't eat much since the convocation (I lied, eheh just because I slept too long!)
it's hard when 10 subjects is handle by one teacher (me) and 'they' come to me because of tummy-ache/hunger/potty help/toilet break/mummy-daddy probs/atuk mati *EVERYTHING* trust me I'm the one with extra emotional baggage they does too!!
we shared the same pencil case and the same pencil ever since.. whatever is mine are theirs too ... (can U imagine my greatest lost yesterday?)
I didn't even cry this much during a bf-heart break-relationship thingy as much I cried when they are leaving
Guys! I will always be your mom forever even when U have your own family I will always be yours! even if u r too shabby or too clean, even if I've scolded u before or I shouted to you, I meant good! I love You .. (cliche?? cheesy?? but this is the truth) (tho' u didn't read blogs)
for the last 18-19 years of having drivers no one can compete with my Pakcik (x-driver)

it's all about youuuu.....

I catch the glimpse of heaven (by e way thanks to my aunt Mimah for the superb Bunga Manggar-for the convocation laaaa)

my personal fav tee, Aliyya Sufiyah's tee!!(baru macho jadik anak murid teacher!)

ha ha ha (this is the best I can say!)

2008-11-09T08:48:00.003+08:00

I'm about to leave to the wet market and Ikea, (while waiting for my mum!)

This man is in his early 40's and work at my bro comp. He is married in with 5 kids, he felt in lust (I assume) with his colleague, the Sarawakian girl, soon after he found out that he is suffering/battling from Leukemia, he 'kindly' asked the girl to broke up the 'silent relationship' (how easy! I thought love is beyond everything, thru sick and pain, rain and shine, thru deceased or traumas, I guess this is LUST yet no LOVE, hahah )
Few months after he is waiting on his death bed, waiting impatiently and kept asking God why is he punished such! (HA HA, shall not question yr 'boss' why, but how I guess!) his constant mumbles rumbles and battling with chemo ended few days past, Takziah to his family. It rain during th burial ceremony, my bro as a boss/friends went to the ceremony to help things up, and morale and physical support to his family is needed at things point of time, something weird happen, when the undertaker shove the water out from the 6-ft'-under the water kept flooding in the hole (hole??) soon after endless trying they have to buried still the body, the amazing thing was the body afloat on top of the water, the last resort was to topple his body with bricks to keep him laid rest down under!!! (I'm insaf!)
Days after the grieving ceremony and insurance recovery and splitting money (I guess, too much dramarama!) her wife sort his belongings and others, and turn on his mobile phone (keh keh keh) and found out smses from his secret Sarawakian lover, she asked hi and hello and how are u, aren't u dying yet?? (something like that laaa) and the wife got mad and called the girl and scolded her and 'fucked' her up (kesian kesian + padan muka + keh keh keh) and when the wife confronted to this dead man best mate, it is confirm about the relationship, and the best mate got scolded too and the wife said (PADAN MUKA MATI!!) ahahha something like (GOOD THAT U R DEAD, GOOD FOR U, SERVED YOUR RIGHT!)

p/s- source of this story is by my bro, from my mum, she reminds me not to be bad..

what a day!

2008-11-03T20:53:00.002+08:00

to go through, I end up my night kind of late (this is my own fault) Had a 'boogy' nite and kind of 'jumpy' and u name it.. 'raw' 'saucy' nite, woke up at 5 just to noticed I haven't pack any of my 1 day trip journey!... By 630 a.m I'm off to KL to meet up with the other hunters (treasure hunters) I carpooled with Fazli (my mum's officer!) in his Honda Civic EX where we ditched our car for, and a bad day for me not really because of the Honda but because of my bad-ass purging activities, flatulence? (I can;t describe) the gassy/airy problem I'm suffering during the 8 hrs journey to Lumut, since it's treasure hunt thingy all the answers were all placed/located @ the jalan kampung (instead of 3 hrs by Highway) and this stoping/navigating maps/breaking downs codes from KL-HARTAMAS-IPOH-BIDOR and god knows where (bet mother Theresa would suffer from the same prob) everything seems blurred and bad when the clocks ticked to 2p.m I had to tahan berak and tahan kentut (it's not our car, It's my mum's officer) owh come onnnn.... I didn't drink anything, scared I terberak or nak berak!!!...
Once reached our hotel, things are more relaxed compared during the journey but still I berak berak!!... that night during the get-together dinner.. I only eat some soft rolls (just to noticed there is strand of hair in the rolls, fuck!) and white rice and 5 slices of cooked carrot ...after 2 times off to the jamban! I ended up pretty well during the karaoke session which I sang few tunes inclusive Kelly Clarkson's ahahah ...after the midnight soirée I wanted to continue my night @ the bar ( still berak2 though) but the bar was jammed pack with whoever!.. so straight off to bed and won the 6 times Emmy award for 6 times going to the loo to berak, it's suffering since I didn't dare to filled my body with the sufficient amount of water yet I'm flushing out!...
The next day is a happy day for me, we skipped bfast and chose to dine in with only plain porridge and tea and alsooo this med that prevented me from berak on the journey home, I survived without food for hours! though it's killing me when my mum and Fazli went for Nasi Briyani and Ayam Madu, I went for a shopping spree to kill my burning desire to eat!!>..
I took a medical leave today ehehehh (still drugged and hangover from galloping bowls of porridge)

easily annoyed

2008-10-31T23:50:00.005+08:00

when
- I'm constantly hit the toilet/purging and indeed of watching online porn!.... How may I concentrate on to it when my bowel is activated, I ended up being stress and angry, esp to myself (is there others joining me?) Why do I suffered myself badly at this kind of situation where I'd be leaving to god-knows-where in a few hrs times, I haven't sleep and best haven't packed! And I'm torturing myself watching an outdated porn! What is actually the need or the best situation to watch porn? is it when your tummy isn't gastronomically contained. When u have earphone to be enjoyed alone??? I don't know but I thing for sure is not when you are jamu-drugged and your bowel is actively activated *sigh* yeah another thing to be added to the list is when it doesn't buffer more than u can wait, when the waiting is as the same amount as u are able to bake a multi-layered cake, might as well U bake yr cake and watch porn at the same time so U don't feel bad from the buffering-waiting-thingy *another sigh*
The reason of me multi tasking while do the porn junk is also when I'm annoyed to the cast who looked like TARZAN! it should be steamy not funny!

seeeeeeeeee!! lookkkkkkk!!!!!!!!

2008-10-30T23:59:00.002+08:00

It's half past midnight! and I'm hungry after my last 6-7 hrs meal! and I need to eat but someone has taken my soup bowl away where I always kept at my pantry! I'm lazy to go down, just I'm scared, what if on my way down, I'm going to meet my ex-bf or someone hello me and it's my-9-years-I'm-waiting-4-U-wish-u-b-back bf Nazri! or worst my nutritionist Dr.Amin who I've been imagining to 'be' with ever since! ahahah
I only have few choice that is drinking glass and butter/cookies-storage bowl, so I choose what is similar to bowl! ahah and I eat using this bowl look alike which is a cookies-storage bowl (so who wants to marry me??)

look I had cornflakes+pops and bijik kuaci and wishing someone will regognize my potential to be the next Hugh Hefner bunny's (dream on)

I've tried my bestest!! wek wek wek!!!

kring kring to krong krong~~~~

2008-10-30T23:04:00.006+08:00

Kisah 1

Wak Dojo: kring kring kring
Henpon: takde nomo tak hektip
Wak Dojo: cuba lagi

kesudahan: mati kering

Kisah 2

Dola Santek: kring kring
Henpon: eh neh no baru
Dola Santek: Hello I'm Emilio Astroban from the asian fud cenel!
Henpon:berborak

Kisah 3

pemanggil bersiri: kring kring krong krong
henpon: efek lambat
pemanggil bersiri: tunggu laaa
henpon: bunyi tadak hangkat!

kesudahan: nak carik emilio astroban!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

p/s: kene sumpahan ke? adehh kene panah petir!

feeling good!

2008-10-30T07:24:00.002+08:00

it's early not that early! still in my robe and after-shower-messs, can't wait to eat my french toast (roti telur jerr!) Today is my first time taking a class photo standing by my students! as a teacher!! I'm kind of excited, though the downside is both of my baju kurungs is still in the wash basin!...I'm going to wear my black baju kurung though it is shabby its comforting at the same time!, and I believes I do look good in it!!!! woohooooooooo

rindu is miss!

2008-10-27T21:26:00.003+08:00

you've tattooed me!!

nama TMJ = Hadi baru I ingatla Chicsue!! Without the tattoo I tak kan ingat nama TMJ

Buat saya teringatkan :

Kunari
Haziq
TMJ!! di kedai Hardware
A.B di Mc D Giant
1st gaji
Sham Ikea
IKEA itself
rojak Kelantan
Abang Nasik Lemak panas
Abang rojak celup2
ingat tak Steven yang polis tuhh
banyak yang bestttt....
esp masa TMJ buat hal...aaaaaaa muahssssssss

happy Deepavali u ols!

2008-10-27T19:05:00.003+08:00

in door spa treatment, facial mask (Pineapple + Cucumber = Himalaya) arghh what a relieves!!

travel log...

2008-10-27T18:39:00.003+08:00

- is where I save the memoir of London-Paris-Jakarta-Bangkok-?? to wherever in this plastic Toyogo, ah haa my lovely treasure...another 2 boxes to be unrevealed!!

suddenly!

2008-10-27T10:03:00.003+08:00

'with' god's hand writting

slipping away

2008-10-27T09:33:00.004+08:00

no doubt about it as time goes by, I realized that I'm getting older too but I'm young at heart but sometimes/somethings/someone is best to chose the 'oldies' aahah.. Something must went awfully wrong (maybe the influenza I suffered way back in Ramadhan that have taken my smelling and tasting senses temporarily!) As I dashed to Subang Parade for pot-hunting and splurge for the multi-grains consume product and going-green for crazy, I bought myself bottles of supplement such as Calcium+Magnesium tablets, I guessed I'm influenced by the Anlene add's by Dato' Michelle Yeoh about the increasing number of women who suffered from Osteoporosis, the scary truth does pushed to purchase more sometimes!...

nyummy!

keinsafan!!

when I failed to ;.

2008-10-26T14:05:00.002+08:00

- speak out whatever I wished, to whoever I felt to tell who (I think) deserved to know what I felt, but I didn't manage to tell,call,express using any of my organs/medium/methods or worst I'M SCARED, I guess my last resort is to write and still I didn't/lazy to post it out so let me BLOG it... it's more telling the person my feeling towards them..or how sorry/hate/in love/lustrous? to them...
I felt bad by doing this but by all means I mean it good..eheh This is where www.titled4u.blogspot.com is born, felt the best way to channel my expressive expression!... (must I imagined u there!)

p/s: it's a cracked of me to blab about this 'newborn', the write up is here and there, cause I'm freshed from the 'lunch' had with my 'friend' The hummping and shouting is hysterically physical and stamina-eating moment (got me??) ehem hemm

6:39 a.m in Malaysia

2008-10-24T06:36:00.003+08:00

-----------------------------------------------
mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
mengagumi tanpa di cintai
tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
dengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu

telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktuku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan ijinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja