so berhhh

i'm selectively sober. I'm moving away~ slightly 'cocked-up' and sober.. kiss ass sober (more likely)

C N Y

I'm silently shaking all over my body, I can't manage to see the outcome, yeah no biggie its just me baking Chocolate Fruitcake, I know it sounded so Christmassy, instead I should be baking some steam cake in order to compliment the Oxxy's Chinese New Year. All of sudden I'm challenging myself to bake this chocolaty fruitcake, not a big fan of fruitcake, since the ingredients are prune, raisins, currant and spices, I would love to give a try to this 2 hrs baked cake!!!! Woahhooo

This is my YEAR the YEAR of the OX, I will treasure it silently... Few of my friends asked what is my plan for this C N Y holiday, gah it's only a 2 days off apart from the weekend.. hurm lemme see~

1. i'd be cooking loads of stir fry
2. i'd be making pizza
3. spring cleaning my room (seriousssly)
   
4. make a teaching plan for my students
5. eat more veggies
6. eat more fruits
7. visiting relatives
8. sadly send my bro's bibik home
9. donating stuff
10. cleaning cleaning cleaning
11. another round of cooking
12. after a week off the chocolate (I do sneak some ok!) I want to settle down me self with some good sexy chocolate bite (a pure dark choco)
13. laden me self with a good hearty cheese over any saladddy dish
14. watch porn till I puke
    
15. going out with friends
16. spend more time with my family
17. I'd make love in his jammies, sit on his lap while his reading, let him make do me
    
18. intoxicated with sex
19. repeating activities that include sex food man cooking cleaning

ps: my biggest craving is homemade OLIVE PIZZA with loads of fking olives
pss: man
psss: books

improved

I'm improving my life/lifestyle, my work life, I'm improving, at times it falls down the drain at times it roses itself.. :))

Replaceable

U make it easier when life get hard, I'm lucky, I know I brag too much but I loves my student!!

ps: I'm loading veggies and fruits to my daily LIFE
pss: If u spot someone looking like any type of fruit or vegge, THAT's ME!!
psss: I'm start planning
pssss: I'm focused YET I'm loosing it silently
psssss: I miss kissing/sex/man/more man/sex/no trying any *IM FOCUSED*
pssssss: I managed to 'score' this morning @ PASAR SEGAR, the MAN who me got crush at helped me with my carrier to my car, I'm melting
pssssssss: I'm smelling man everywhere I go esp, at the grocery store this evening aaaaaaaa
psssssssss: I'm 'fasting'

amin...

at last finally with strength and effort im able here to be at masjid s alm, pursuing part of my dream or best to say part of my yearly resolution, learning to well recite the qorun, its always an ongoing dream to learn, this is where the beauty of qorun's grammar is learn and shall the fluency of the pronunciation being taught to improved. I can read the quran as the fluency i sing yre my everything Santa Esmeralda but this isnt like english this is better than Spanish this issss beauty, at times reading it is accompanied by a joyful tears, tears of joy, but i failed to identified the hidden calling hence there is no profound meaning that im hunger to seek the deeper truth behind those powerful magical words that at times swipes mt feet off. Im afloat when im recit …… (lost of words)

Sent from my iPhone

semago berjaya la yer kepada saya, saya KELAS 3 ASAS yer, sebab tajwid saya melongkang, jangan risau kawan2 ada nenek tuh pon join kelas saya~ (ade PERTENGAHAN ngan LANJUTAN sblm grad dapat sijil dan kalau OK - JAIS kasi keje, ngajar Al-Quran)

ps:1000 things to do before I die
pss:aminnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

no reason why!!

We are happy for those wedded couple!! Such as Fergie and whoever-he-is - So we bought cake and celebrate our life (Myself to be exact! life without any string or ring attached!!! wee huu??)

Tq party popper!!! Inclusive 3 maids... and countless kids!! gahhh...

older ::))

I'm getting older, I'm growing graciously yet I'm worried too:: too many worries to be worried, I'm practicing semi-vegetarian diet, yet I'm a pescetarian (eats any combination of vegetables, fruit, nuts, beans and fish or invertebrate seafood, but will not eat mammals or birds. Some animal products like eggs and dairy may or may not be part of a pescetarian diet plan.)
*swear tuhan sih*
Vanilla creme & Pure Seduction all Au natural for my healthy aging process *gahhhh* (Laura Mercier & Victoria's Secret Garden, tq for those concern!!!)

tinggal

hari ini aku pergi dulu ya, izinkan aku pergi sebentar, izinkan aku bersama diriku sebentar, biarkan kosong ini diisi untuk diriku, sepiku bagi diriku, biar ya aku belengu sendiri, aku tak bisa membahayakan diri ini lagi disamping sampingan. Pasti aku merindu, kau mungkin pasti merindu, hanya kepastian belum ada satu ketentuan. Aku hari ini bakal meninggalkan segala yang lepas dilepaskan, semua penciptaan bagiku yang lepas bakal ku tinggal walaupun larutan di tengah jalan, maaf kalau ini mengejut yer. Ini sudah pilihan lama tapi baru dijadikan mungkin sebentar tadi, aku pasti peninggalan aku bermakna. Kalau tiadanya aku, ku pasti aku meninggalkan kamu tanpa sebarang apa nota atau peta jalan carian aku kala aku pergi.
Mungkin ini pemergian bagi satu permulaa.....
Izinya aku pada kamu untuk merindu dan diteruskan oleh keluhan hela nafas yang panjang.

ps:: pemergian yang tiada kepastian
pss: suatu pra-kematian yang sang tidak agung
psss: tiada perancangan
pssss: hey, si lelaki di dalam sut Brioni, kamu akan masih kekal ku kecam di kamar ya!!
psssss: kesudahan dinanti nanti
pssssss: aku pergi dulu ya
psssssss: aku tersedar dari sentakan pemikiran si guru cetek, aku terlupa untuk bercinta dengan aku, aku sedang bercinta, aku sedang belajar memupuk cinta pada diri ini yang semuanya serba serbi kurang, kurang akal, kurang memikir, kurang cantik, kurang tgi, kurang kurus.... satu masa bila semua cinta itu bergerak utUh, pasti aku akan kembali
pssssssss: punat2 nombor sudah tiada

itu kamu~

selamat hari hari cinta baruku
terima cintaku disambut sambut seperti selalu,
aku terima cinta kasih sayang mu lahir zarah putih bersih walau kanvas mu berporeng corak dan warna ,kau masih dirimu, walaupun coraknya masih ku pelajari, tapi azalinya kau adalah ciptaanNya kepadaku
terima kasih cinta, tidak pernah terdetak hati ini untuk merafak kasih cinta bersamamu, sekuat mana setia adanya sebegini,
setiap detik berdetak, aku seakan bernafas nama dan jantungmu, wajah, olesan karikatur hidup dan ambangan suaramu terngiang kuat di jantung ini,
kau nyawaku,
Terima kasih wahai tuhan, mencipta, sinari jalan cinta abadi, suluhan lurah-lurah kasih cinta akhirnya di sisi kamu, mungkin roh kami dah bersaut satu, mungkin jasad tak seutuh roh kami, ikatan sayang kasih dan marah adalah permulaan detik sayang yang lebih utuh.
Mungkin hadir kamu di sisi aku adalah awal rahmat, jalan hapusnya dosa-dosa maksiat aku, suatu 'zina' kekejian yang pernah satu masa merampas maut yang belum pasti dipanggil, kau datang dengan sekelip mata, menyedarkan bahawa senyuman esOk masih ada, kau bergantung jasad-jasad mulus eLok kecil berkerdip di kaki, tangan dan badanku. Ahhha inilah jasad yang kucinta, yang pernah menjernihkan cinta yang keruh di hatiku, yang menarik mengetuk ruang terendak jantung nyawa bergelar cinta dan kasih sayang.
Mungkin ini jalan takdirku, adakah?
berhabis masa didepan mata kecil mu, menghabiskan suara di lohong2 telingamu, tanganmu ku genggam disetiap pagi mengingatkan kamu, JANJI JANJI JANJI ku akan senantiasa bersamamu, pasti akan ku tanamkan zarah-zarah unggul dalam hidupmu agar akhir duniaMu pasti yang terbaik!!...
Ku dengar doa-doa mu, satu ketagihan baru, hanya untuk kau mendoakanKu, runtuh remuk hati ini berganti yang kukuh gaya mortar agung bingkisan juangan juangan pahlawan , :))
Nyawaku, aku tinggalkan satu kegemilangan karier, mencari NUR kasi cinta sejati, di pelosok yang tiada agungnya tapi pasti ada keikhlasan yang abadi, yang aku mencari dan masih mencari~
Pasti setiap zina, maksiat, air cinta yang pasti berdarahkan dosa, JANJI akan ku tebas agar yang tinggal hanya yang tersuci untuk aku mendampingimu dan kau lebih bermakna apabila mendampingiku, mungkin inilah jalan asal dimana ku nanti untuk membersih dosa-dosa aku yang bagiku ada harapan tanpa jalan..........

kau permata kau lah intan di sanubari ku, kau pujaan ku, sinaran rembulan menerangi jiwa- WLZ - my undying bombing energy! Teacher will always love U sugar pump!

awwwwwww me!!!!!

after sev. min. chatting with this whoever.

me:: DO u have YM?

him: what is YM?

me:: YOUR MOTHER!!

him: dah MATI

me:: ????

Happy New Yes - 09 -

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY 2009

(cliche?? U asked for it!!)

Happy New Me and Happy New You, may this o9 bring you all the hottest, best and better than before - u - name - it!!!... I know it's later than U've expected, but atleast I'm still here wishing U for your new year.

Thanks for all the wishes, party invi. and sorry for the turn down, gig invi too which I'm unable to attend. I'm wasting my last days of 08 by spending time with the closest ones, I wish to hold them longer so the smell and their memoir shall not fade or keep still. I'm scared there will be no more them and the new them will slowly chased my feeling off them, people change so what! ahahah

Most of the frequent asked question on the new year eve and after too, is how I celebrate/spend my new year .... Well nothing much...

1. 
   
   no club hopping


2. 
   
   no fancy dress - shoes - event


3. 
   
   no sounds blaring gig


4. 
   
   no crowd cladding scene


5. 
   
   no flirting *minor I guess*


6. 
   
   I'm with my friend watching movie *Zombie movie, sux yet LOVELY*


7. 
   
   keep on asking me self, why there are FRU's everywhere, Scary eh


8. 
   
   went to Pelita for Nasi Kandar (I've left N K for years, since I'm becoming a vegetarian again, strictly on 1/1/09, I walloped N K with Ayam Hitam and I did asked those regulars what sort of gravy I should opt for. eheheh)


9. 
   
   hug and kisses


10. 
    
    went around town,


11. 
    
    thats all I'm back with my family members, where undivided love is warmth and never fade away

ps:: part of my new year's resolution is, to become a Vegetarian (I was and stop for some health issue)

psss:: to brush my teeth frequently

pssss:: to practice a basic/good/affordable beauty regime

psssss: and part of it to enjoy life/ to let life enjoy itself (?????)

i'd be missing u owh so much N K....!! and AYAM HITAM esp