Just stand up

Location: KL Central (Commuter waiting area)
Time: 1830
Date: Today
Cast: ME as the main doer!.. others passengers!!
Costume: college uniform (baju kurung white top + black bottom + black Bata's) + iPhone

I have to take the other 16 mins arrival train, because the current train is jammed pack, ok ok I can obey that! When the train arrived I don't have to hop on people kept pushing, well hello the rule is U have to let "them" out first, it'll make easier for "us" to go in!!! but no one seems to be so greedy/tired/selfish and kept pushing, I dont have to walk people kept pushing and indirectly they are pushing my abilities and my anger not knowing that I have my Syafawi Quranic exam in 1hr time and im having my PMS!!!

So people kept pushing ~ :D as I tried to control my depression towards whatever (read my previous entree) I open my mouth and shouted

NO PUSHING PLEASE, FOR SAFETY REASON!!!!!!!!!!! loud and clear, and people stops! and I felt embarrassedly proud of myself (im standing tall) The area is finally clear, and I know that mamat with the topman carrier + wedding band amused with my ability to shout!.. and that mamat with Fitness 1st bag wish he could ask for my number rather than staring at my playlist!!

There are time when pushing is needed

1. birth
2. sex
3. constipation
4. in danger
5. low self esteem
6. etc but not when u r selfish!
   

p/s: finally the lioness has spoken
p/s: never judge this person by the pink iPhone and unruly uniform
p/s: I bitterly roar
p/s: readers U should feel happy U are the 1st person to know about my ACHIEVEMENT for peace and safety!!! (dont dare to tell my parent - )
p/s: for the meaning of freedom, therapist needed

left unwritten

in few days time I have to drag myself to go back to my hometown *grrrrrrrreatttt suckkkaaaaaa*my cousin is getting -her own cage- / getting married *sigh* my bro and his family will be on the road with us too, so its a crowd, I haven't attended any wedding this year as I promise to myself its a sober year *yeah backoff with wedding veil or wedding bells la la la* - will only attend if ~-(don't know, no reason to attend) worst the night off my arrival from my hometown, next week, I'd be having my kitchen training (can U imagine? after hours of driving and the need of having sex with flour and butter!)
This reservation to snatch me off the trip has been going on since January : so here goes

My auntie/the bride : pls come to my wedding, it'll be nothing without U
Me : Yeah righttttttttt... (upon god's will)

-------------------------

My mum : U r coming with us right?
Me : to ??????
My mum : Nazra's wedding
Me : U know I don't attend wedding right right right

---------------------------------

My eldest niece (Buncah)
Buncah : it'll be fun
Me : dude u know how i hate weddings
Buncah : so ok we'll stay in, we'll have fun ...
Me : im in too,
Buncah : awsome
Me : i know u know the best!!!!!

So we'll be bringing our :

1. psp
2. xbox
3. our projector for movie/games/karaoke viewing
4. our traveling karaoke set
5. bitchy beachy beach attire
6. surfboard
7. mags and books
8. laptops
9. BAGS of our moody moods ( me and Buncah have attitude problem, she doesn't like crowded area, and I dun like weddings)
10. couple of Q n A sheets of practiced answer upon some silly bossy annoying questionnaire
    

(This is during crucial times and I some how or rather, me existence needed around the wedding ceremony)

Q : badan naik eh?
A : tak (blah)

Q : ehehehe awak bila lagi??
A : Lepas raya korban (terus blah) -tahun bila dengan siapa? left unanswered)

Q : dah kerja ke?
A : dah (terus blah)

Q : dah boleh bawak kerete ke?
A : baru je boleh (ahahhaha - blah)

Q : apa jadi kat budak lelaki yang dulu bawak balik kg tuh?
A : yang mana satu? lupa sudah (blah)

Q : eyyy nampak kurus sikit
A : haah kurus (blah)

Q : takkan takde lagi calon2 kot
A : ramai
Q : dah tunggu apa lagi, kawin je la terus
A : tak tahu nak pilih mana satu
Q : ala. takkan takdak yang berkenan
A : takdak (blah)

urghh I don't like this, what make me attend this wedding? even Zamarul Hisham and Diana Rafar send me their wedding card I refuse to attend
Why I'm doing this?? because it's a nitemareeeeee, i cant breathe i cant sleep i wakes up earlier than i should... Im stress I need my therapist and he's out of my reach for a week, im stuck I cant do so many things, I disliking my dislikes Im crumpling.... feel like fighting ...
Honestly I need to admit myself to the emergency room... therapist needed!

Happeyh Burpday!!!!

wooahoooo, since I'm a kitchen freak + stop working for good + no firm income = I have to be creative in order to celebrate any occasions with my love ones, no money with love type kind of gift + effort ~ (T_T)

Deeb, for U I will dear, py burpday yeah!!..

Happy B'day to Fierce Tasya too!

p/s: for Lish's cupcake on 20th May 09 (Chocolate + Banana with Peanut Butter + Frosting)
p/s: Tasya's cake (whoever inspired face) -Butter creamed spongecake + Vanilla with chocolate ganache) tq

if u ever know

if u ever know what I'm doing isn't something easy for me to face or even do. Its really hard, even harder for the one who facing it. I dont have any link to channel this anymore

corny me!

I'm tired, I woke up with slow paced heart yet my mind is rushing, I'm angry, angry for nothing~ Is this something that got to do with the activity or emotional activity done before I'm off to bed??
I realized ever since I've stop teaching at the kindergarten I've becoming someone who is easily snapped off/short tempered and whatever my opinion given leads to "do I look like I care?" attitude! (ahah not really yesterday I stayed longer @ college just to help Chingy understanding new-learn topic = FLOUR, owh yeah to be noted, I re-write the notes back for her)
Last night I dreamed~

Location : my present college

scene : I'm about to throw my fully eaten corn cob (is a COB right, gahh) As I throw the corn off, I overheard one of the girl seated at the table nearby commented about me to her friends "perasan baik" Than I ran to her table and said "weh, ko mengata aku ehs??" and directly I pulled her of her sit and twists her neck and punched her right to her face, I even slammed her head (how comforting eyh!!) and I told myself "what should I do?" the result is I throw her off into the dustbin where all the Corn Cobs lay rested.
Soon after the incident I tried to tell my mum, I've cried in my dream telling myself I need to see my therapist and begged my mum to send me to any therapist available.

p/s: I've canceled my therapy session earlier on

pertama dalam pertama

Percaya atau tidak, hari ni adalah hari pertama aku gunakan/naik perkhidmatan BAS/BAS AWAM! ahahha kelas habis awal so aku ngan Chingy naik bas!





(Bas)

1. super best hampir orgasm dengan kebesaran cermin bas
2. one day aku nak duduk kat kerusi tinggi/dekat ngan pemandu bas
3. kali 1 pegang tiket bas
4. salah cucuh duit *nasib baik abang bas hensem bangat tolong - tolong gelakkan juga*
5. seronok abang bas usher keluar bila sampai kat Taman Bahagia (ekceli dia nak cek side mirror ajer) *tp dia babai laa kat aku*
6. suka semua orang membantu CHINGY n BangBas esp!!!
   

(Komuter)

1. Slow nak mampos
2. 2-3 kali tukar arrival schedule
3. KALI pertama aku sound orang dalam komuter
   

keadaan berasak-rasak @ pintu kecik, kakak neh dah kedepan sempat pulak

Kakak : eh eh (panggil kawan) cepatla2 pegang tangan masuk,
Aku : Hallo, jalan2 bf biar dulu, kasi aku masuk dulu *sigh* -Honestly bila aku pakai Chef Suit, aku takde masa nak cuci mata nak baik2 dengan sapa2, unless cacat/mengandung-

(Poliklinik kajaan)
Woah hensem mamat neh, walaupun jalan macam baru lepas bersunat, ngan sua pendek + kain plekat kat tangan *kiut nye pasal I dun care* Berdiri sebelah aku plak tuh... Tiba2 ade plak minah neh dok pegang bahu dia, ceh! should I or shouldn't I kasi dier duduk, walaupun dia sakit..

Aku : argh mampos la awek ada, suruh la awek tuh riba ke papah ke timang ke.. pangku ke..*ROFL*

p/s: at times I'm proud to be selfish n rude p/s: is good to be Malay written my blog, puas hati nak maki dan berkesat kesatan...

good Job!

Description:RELEASE DATE : 2009

Anak Aku Artis!

8-May-2009, 10:00:00 PM

Genre: Drama

Language: Bahasa Malaysia

Cast: Mimi - Dina ERA

Synopsis:

Anak Mak Lang Nak Jadi bintang menceritakan Mak Lang yang mempunyai seorang anak bernama Mimi yang ingin menjuarai tancangan realiti tv Akademi Bintang. Tetapi cita-citanya terbantut apabila Mimi terkeluar sebelum pertandingan akhir. Mak Lang memerlukan wang kemenangan untuk membayar pinjaman teksi yang disewanya. Kini Mak Lang terpaksa memikirkan jalan untuk mendapatkan wang tersebut. Kebetulan hakim rancangan realiti tv Ikmal menaiki teksinya, lantas Mak Lang mengambil keputusan untuk menulik Ikmal bagi memastikan anaknya Mimi diserap semula ke dalam rancangan realiti tersebut. Maka berlakulah pelbagai insiden lucu untuk memastikan cita-cita Mak Lang menjadikan anaknya juara tercapai.

Stuck at home on Sunday evening, done myself for all the heavy breathing movie such as City of Angels, etc ~ Switched on to Ria @ Astro and watched Anak Aku Artis, an indie spirited movie + Juno-kinda-like-it, whatever it is, I think the plot/storyline and the combo of artists used in this drama balanced and coherent with "today's" viewers esp. Ppl like me!
I'm over plastic heroine/hero and bad looking intruders, I want something "real" out of the box. Ghaz, the producer uses a good graphically idea such as using "collage" as part of the medium in the drama. Ha ha ha I know one day Ghaz able to come out with something "at heart" for our "new-malaysian-viewers" (Im excited!!!)

p/s: I've called Ghaz's colleague to congratulate upon his achievement!!
p/s: Ghaz's is the man behind most of Anuar Zain's mtv
p/s: Yeah I've worked with Ghaz for sev times!
p/s: He borrowed my trackmill to be used in Kaer's mtv!
p/s: I'm bragging !!!

buddy o o o buddy ~

One of my f-buddy IM me, yeah done with hi and hello, he hits me at the right time ..

Hey! how's life and la la la ~ I'm ynroh (:D) can we have xes??

(mission accomplish!)

I still can't sleep, and tomorrow is rehab session and worst, my body is about to be tested/weigh/alcohol/fat/bmi/urine (and u name it, they will dig me) Logged on the net and do some minor chatting and met few of the 95-97 Alamakians and walked the memoir lane together (arghh) I remember those days where cyber sex is clearer than the blue sky, each words typed is a sonnet, we are strangers yet we are so into cyber sex an its not a taboo as its done today!! (what am I?? standard 6??) We emailed each other at HOTMAIL.COM and its a love letter between us and just like hand written letters, words rhyme and harmonized, that was the day when we used too woo each other using songs and lyrics (ENOUGH!!!)

• 4.00 a.m + mug of Milo + 2x bahulu + midnite call from Randy = able for a nap
• 730 a.m = wake up wake up, rehab time!!!! (Should i or shouldn't I attend my therapy session??)
• Since entering rehab, I've plastered my walls/doors/surfaces with wisdom's/motivational/lyrical phrases/words just to motivate me to move and attend my therapy session!!! (even after 3-3.5 hrs sleeping) YES, I took my bath and off to rehab zombifiedly!!!!!!!

@ Rehab..

I dun like(zombie shouldn't be kind to any) this lady who I think she thinks herself is super-hot (which i dun think soooo) and miss-know-it all,worst ! she is the receptionist (there are others too, but she always makes the beeline over whatever!!) blahhh

She's being nice and greeted me : "Awak nampak letih sangat muka tuh"
Me: Smiles and "yeahh yeah yeah" can U check my therapist my session is at 9 a.m (bed and food needed)
therapist: what happen to U??
Me: sex sex sex - chatting - game = sleepless nite (untold of course!) "hurm, something happened last nite and I didn't manage to sleep well"

hey hey hey ~ I went thru my 1.5 hrs session bravaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to me pls!!! Went home for my fruity loops + cereals + soya + 5hrs sleep

p/s: the heart can beat the hate

brekkie!!!

BIG BREAKFAST...anybody???

p/s: I'm horny = too descriptive

kerusi kosong~

Something that came out of nowhere...

Scene - Lec. Room 6, front row (class Pn. Fiza : Hygienic n Sanitation sub.)
Cast - me, ain LEFT-i + ain LEFT-i's mineral water + kerusi kosong
Genre - blur sotong... (ROFL)

I sat in between Ain LEFT-i and kerusi kosong

Ain LEFT-i : Kak, tadi orang call kenapa tak angkat tepon

Me : gah, tak perasan

(sambil pegang mineral water...)

Ain LEFT-i : (angkat botol mineral) nak air??

Me: (pandang, kiri) *dalam hati* woah, sebelah aku kosong dia cakap ngan sapa?? offer sapa air?? *aku meroma!* berantuuuuuuuuuuu ke??

Me: erkkkk no tq,

- Lama2 aku tenung si Ain LEFT-i neh baru aku perasan mata kiri dia JULING....

p/s : tq Ain niat ko baik dik!

butterfly

Never felt any better, thanks to Ciksu and some others who soothed me thru my 1st day @ college. Friendless, I don't know anyone, I didn't look around, not wanting to know anyone, scared to look around in case, there's-the-cutie and he will be the attraction core.
Arghh, I didn't go to the loo, I waited till lunch time. We were place in the dimmed lighting mini theater, I misplaced my reading glasses earlier on, so I manage to notice the others only during the last period of the orientation, well well well as I'm assuming they are all babies!!!!!! woahhh freshies from high school!..hurm they are extremely funny, the fact that they're around, calm me down~
Well, I bought my B-First black school shoes! weyhh I felt younger at wrong places... ahaah save me!! I felt I'm stuck in some underages' , wohoo help me!

Back to school !!!

Never felt worse for years since I left college, here I'm back to pieces after years leaving college/freshman/dating/into-you/assignment/dudes/babes gahhhh I'm into it again, tomorrow!.. The worst part is:

1. Uniform included
2. white top with black trousers
3. anything with white turn me off
4. VEST is included = looking like over stuff waitress @ some cheap hotel
5. I have to carry my own "Kad Metrik"
6. orientation
7. those unknown
8. NO ONE
9. lonesome
10. miss my students
11. UNIFORM (fugly) againnnnnnn
12. 1 of my ex-bf used to study at the same college (Luckily, I'm not into him ah ha)
13. he's history
14. books + reading
15. I'm having bad flu
16. reschedule rehab session (gahhh)
17. middle of nowhere
18. tons of MISS ATIE-to be-wannabe-act alike (ciksu if u read ths!) arghh

Some starlight!

1. I got to tailor made my own CHEF suit
2. wearing SAFETY boots
   
3. checkered pants
4. CHEF-to-be
5. new crowd of people
6. something got to do with ASIAN CULINARY INSTITUTE
7. young at one again!
   
8. something new
9. ok laaa...
10. I will do my best ok...
    

Laugh it off let it go (=====D)

Not Fair - Lily Allen

Oh, he treats me with respect,
He says he loves me all the time,
He calls me 15 times a day,
He likes to make sure that im fine,
You know I've never met a man,
Whose made me feel quite so secure,
He's not like all them other boys,
They're so dumb and immature.

There's just one thing,
That's getting in the way,
When we go up to bed your just no good,
its such a shame!
I look into your eyes,
I want to get to know you,
And then you make this noise,
its apparent its all over

Its not fair,
And i think your really mean,
I think your really mean,
I think your really mean.

Oh your supposed to care,
But you never make me scream,
You never make me scream,

Oh it's not fair,
And it's really not ok,
It's really not ok,
It's really not ok,

Oh your supposed to care,
But all you do is take, yea all you do is take

Yewell I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed
I'm feeling pretty hard done by, I spent ages giving head
then I remember all the nice things that you've ever said to me
maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe your the one for me

there's just one thing that's getting in the way
Not Fair lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/English/51978-Not-Fair~Lily-Allen.html
when we go up to bed you're just not good it's such a shame
I look into your eyes I want to get to know you
and then you make this noise and its apparent it's all over

it's not fair and I think your really mean
I think your really mean
I think your really mean

oh your supposed to care but you never make me scream
you never make me scream

oh it's not fair and it's really not ok
it's really not ok
it's really not ok

oh your supposed to care but all you do is take
all you do is take

there's just one thing that's getting in the way
when we go up to bed you're just not good it's such a shame
I look into your eyes I want to get to know you
and then you make this noise and its apparent it's all over

it's not fair and I think your really mean
I think your really mean
I think your really mean
oh your supposed to care but you never make me scream
you never make me scream

oh it's not fair and it's really not ok
it's really not ok
it's really not ok
oh your supposed to care but all you do is take
all you do is take

p/s: Seek Professional Helps!